iGame of Love
by Princess-Warrior 17
Summary: It was just a game. A stupid game that they played. And sadly, she lost. Sam Puckett lost her heart to Freddie Benson. The after shocks of their breakup have left her broken with no one to help her. Or is she really alone? There seems to be someone there for her. With his help, Sam might realize what it feels like to fall in love and actually get caught. T for language. Post iOAR.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:  
**

_Okay, the Seddiers are going to _hate me. _I'm sorry guys. Everyone knows (or should know) how much I love Seddie. They honestly are my OTP. But I was really disappointed by iOpen a Restaurant. Actually, I've been disappointed in what the writers have recently done to our favorite couple. So this story was made out of my disappointment and sadness. _

_I've toyed with the Brad/Sam relationship in this story. I love Brad as a character and hope he can come back to the show sometime. I feel like the writers could have done more with him. _**  
**

_For those of you about to read, please give this story a chance. I know it's not Seddie (and sorry it won't be) but please keep your mind open. And I apologize in advance for the way I portray Freddie. In reality, I totally love him. But he's the bad guy in this story. He's going to be OOC and so is Sam. I wanted to try and write something different. It's not fluff, but rather, a darker story.  
_

_Please let me know what you think. This chapter is supposed to be kind of boring because it's the explanatory chapter. The others chapters won't be like this one. Oh, and the whole story is in Sam's POV.  
_

**Disclaimer:** _If I owned iCarly, I wouldn't have written this Fanfic. I'd be writing an episode full of Seddie instead. Rights go to Dan Schneider. __  
_

**iGame of Love**

**Chapter 1**

It was just a game. A fucking_ game_.

Why did I ever think that Freddie Benson loved me? The only person he could love was Carly Shay, the dazzling, perfect girl. How could I have been so stupid to believe for a second that he wanted anyone besides her?

So why did Freddie waste the time to be with someone who wasn't as perfect, beautiful, or smart as Carly? The answer was simple: it was just a part of the little game we had played since 6th grade.

The game started out as a way for us to hurt each other, but then morphed into something that became playful and slightly romantic. Now the hurtful side was back.

He only dated me so he could hurt me in the end. His love was a lie, and deep in my heart, I always knew. It wasn't possible for a guy like Freddie to love a girl like me. It went against everything rational in this world.

Sadly, this time I didn't play along with the game. Sure, I could have pretended that nothing mattered to me. That months of being his girlfriend was just an act to make him happy. But I would be outright lying, and I was tired of doing that. Telling lie after lie wore me down after a while.

Even though we broke up a few months ago, I still wasn't over it. I tried to move on, but I couldn't. Seeing him everyday made me realize how much I missed everything about him.

Missing him wasn't even the worst part. No, it was the fact that he had already moved on. Just weeks after our breakup, he started to follow Carly again, acting like a lost puppy. It didn't really surprise me, though, since his feelings for her never really went away.

Every day I put on a brave face for my friends. I acted like I normally did and they thought I was fine. They didn't know that I cried myself to sleep every night in my tiny bed in my stupid house.

There was a reason why I spent so much time at Carly's. It felt like a home, while mine didn't. Mine was a place where my drunk mother passed out with her sleezy boyfriends. It was a place with limited food and definitely no comfort.

As time progressed, I spent less time at Carly's and more time in my room. Some days I would lock the door, crawl into bed, and cry my eyes out. That seemed to happen more often now. Sometimes I would black out because there would be nothing to pull me back to reality.

No one came to my house to check on me. I told them not to bother.

Carly might have texted during those times, but I never responded. She didn't question my periods of silence because she knew better. She didn't need to know about the hell I went through every day. I didn't want her to know, either. They say ignorance is bliss, which couldn't be truer.

I made sure to look normal by dressing nicely, doing my hair and makeup, and eating regularly. But once I was safely in my room, I let my façade slip. I wore comfy old sweats, washed my makeup off, and only ate if I was absolutely hungry. If I was alone, I barely took care of myself.

If it weren't for three specific people right now, I'd probably be dead. Suicide was never in my vocabulary until recently, and it hovered in the back of my mind every now and then. They were saving me as much as they could.

It was a shocker, but Carly wasn't saving me. I made it my priority to keep her in the dark. If she knew, she'd force me to go see a psychiatrist or something. There was no way in hell that was happening.

As I slowly drifted away from Carly, I got closer to Wendy. She and I had always been friends, but we seemed pretty tight right now. She just understood some things about me that Carly couldn't.

Wendy came from a rough past, too. Her parents were divorced, but neither wanted to keep her. Her mom was heavily into drugs and partying, and her dad was always busy with his job. At the moment, she was living with her aunt.

Don't get me wrong, Carly's family life wasn't easy either. But she had Spencer, and even before her dad joined the Air Force, she spent a lot of time with him. He really did love her, so she never felt like she wasn't wanted.

Wendy and I both knew what it felt like to not be wanted. She understood what I was going through. I liked that she wasn't pushy about asking for details. Instead, she offered to listen to me if I wanted to talk.

And then there was good ol' Gib. He was still as odd as ever, but he made me happy. Things with him were simple, not complicated at all.

Face to face, Gibby seemed pretty plain; as long as you treated him right, he would be nice to you. But I found out he was actually a pretty complex person when we opened _Gibby's_, our restaurant.

Eventually, we closed the place down for good because it was too hard to handle with everything. He understood that I couldn't deal with the business and all of my problems at the same time.

Gibby, like Wendy, was there for me when I wanted to talk. Unlike Carly, he didn't coddle me. He listened and offered me a big teddy bear hug after words.

Most people thought that Gibby and I had something between us. But I could never think of him in a romantic way. _Ew._ We were just really good friends.

Most importantly, there was Brad. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be sure where I'd be at. Out of everyone, he truly was my savior. He knew exactly how to make me feel better and was _always_ there when I needed him.

Even though he didn't go to Ridgeway anymore, he remained incredibly close to me. He still lived in Seattle, in a house that wasn't far from mine. If I wasn't in my room, at Carly's, or at school, I went to Brad's house.

It really sucked when his parents made him quit the iCarly internship. But he still hung out with me, so he knew about everything. Brad didn't keep in contact with Carly or Freddie, mainly because he didn't want to confront them after what happened.

As much as I liked Wendy and Gibby, I still had trouble opening up to them. Carly knew about my soft side and Freddie briefly saw it when we dated. With Brad, it was so easy to be vulnerable. It didn't freak him out to see how broken I was. If anything, it made him like me even more because I wasn't always so tough.

He had seen me at my worst: angry as hell and throwing things around, tired as ever with huge bags under my eyes, or sad with tears streaming down my face. He had seen me at my best with twinkling eyes and a huge smile on my lips. He had seen it all and still managed to care about me.

Like I said, if it weren't for Bradley Haverford, I honestly wouldn't know what to do.

* * *

It was Friday night and as I sat in my room, I felt desperately lonely. The house felt empty without my mom and her latest asshole boyfriend. They left yesterday morning and wouldn't be back until Tuesday, at the earliest. I shivered involuntarily, not from the cold, but from being all alone once again.

I stared at my hands, thinking about what I shouldn't have been: Freddie and Carly. After we finished iCarly for the night, I left as soon as I could. They eyed each other a ton during the show, and I couldn't stand to see anymore of that. So I made up some excuse and left. They seemed concerned about my quick exit, but didn't question it or follow me.

Come to think of it, they were probably out together, sipping smoothies or drinking lattes. Freddie would probably be staring into Carly's eyes, holding her hand across the table. God, I had to stop thinking about that or I'd throw up.

To distract myself, I picked up my copy of _To Kill A Mockingbird._ Yes, Sam Puckett actually reads something other than the _Boogie Bear _series. Shocker, right? I actually liked reading, when I wasn't forced into it. After a while, my attention started to wander, so I decided to do something other than mope around the house.

Tossing my book aside, I stood up from my small bed. I grabbed my light jacket and put it on over my worn t-shirt. I slid my shoes on and made my way out of the house, closing the heavy front door behind me. There wasn't any point in locking it since nothing was worth stealing.

My feet took me to the house that I knew as well as my own. In about 10 minutes, I reached the place I needed to be. I knocked quietly on the mahogany door of the enormous house that stood in front of me.

It was only a few seconds later when someone opened the door. I stared into his deep, warm green eyes and a small smile spread across my lips.

"Hey, Brad," I said softly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:  
**

_So, here's Chapter 2 for you guys. Thanks so much for the people that reviewed! It really means a lot to me, especially for this story. I personally like the plot line, but I have no idea what anyone else thinks. That's why reviews are so helpful! Please, please review. I need to know that there's actually an interest in this story for me to continue. _

_This chapter is fairly short. The original chapter 2 was way, way longer. I cut it down because otherwise it would have gone on forever. Chapter 3 will pick up where this one leaves off.  
_

**Disclaimer: **

_The rights go to Dan Schneider. I wish I owned iCarly, but sadly, I don't. Oh, and I don't own "Safe and Sound" either. That belongs to Taylor Swift (and the Civil Wars). _**  
**

"Hi, Sam," Brad replied, reaching for my hand.

I didn't need to ask if I could come in; he already knew and guided me into the house.

Once I was inside, his arms encircled my waist, pulling me into a tight embrace. I leaned my head against his chest, silently breathing in the scent of his clothes. Judging by the chocolately smell, he had made fudge again.

He drew back slowly to look at me. "Good show tonight. I watched it while making fudge. I liked the Messing with Lewbert bit," he laughed, recalling the prank we played.

"Thanks. I thought it was pretty good, too."

I grinned for a brief moment, but then felt my mouth curve into its normal frown. My happy façade could never last for long.

"Rough night, huh?" he asked, cupping my cheek in his hand.

I nodded. "Yeah. I left right after the show. I went home, but then decided to come here. I don't want to be alone tonight," I said with a cracked voice, as a few hot tears slipped from my eyes.

"Shhh…it's okay, Sam. I'm here, Sam. You're alright. I'm here," he whispered soothingly in my ear.

This had happened enough that Brad knew exactly what to do to calm me down. He led me to the couch to sit down. I sat in his lap, while he held tightly onto me. Very quietly, he started to sing a part of my favorite lullaby.

_I remember tears streaming down your face when I said 'I'll never let you go' _

_When all those shadows almost killed your light_

_I remember you said, 'Don't leave me here alone' _

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight _

_Just close your eyes _

_The sun is going down _

_You'll be alright _

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light _

_You and I will be safe and sound_

In a matter of moments, the tears stopped. I looked up into Brad's eyes. They stared back at me with so much warmth and comfort. He gave me a small smile before softly pressing his lips to my forehead.

"Better, Sammy?" he murmured, using his nickname for me. He was the only one allowed to call me that.

"Yes, thank you. Sorry for soaking your shirt."

I traced my finger on the wet material. I really liked that shirt, too. It was the navy blue plaid one he wore on the day of the intern interview.

He chuckled. "It's alright. If you haven't noticed, it's already covered with chocolate and flour."

"So I see you're making fudge again. What kind this time?"

"A new recipe, actually. My great grandma just showed me how to make it after school. It's strawberry flavored with strawberry chunks in it."

"That sounds yummy." Saying I loved his fudge was an understatement. I _adored_ his fudge.

"Would you like to stay and sample it? I made a bunch of other ones, too. Including your favorite."

"Yes! Of course I'll stay if you have food," I giggled.

I gently got off of his lap, and grabbed one of his hands. Intertwining our fingers, we made our way into the kitchen. I sat on one of the bar stools at the island, leaning my chin on my hand. I sighed, looking around the kitchen.

Brad was lucky; his family had a lot of money and could afford a nice home. The kitchen was bigger than my entire house. When his parents had the house built, he demanded a large kitchen because that's where he spent most of his time. He really liked baking and cooking.

Brad's whole place was fancy, but it didn't bother me. He couldn't help that his parents made a ton of money. What truly sucked was that despite making nice paychecks, they hardly spent any time with him. They were too busy with their business meetings and parties.

So most days, he usually hung out with his great grandma, or his school friends, or was home alone. But whenever I showed up, he'd immediately drop everything to be with me. He truly was an amazing person to do that all of the time.

I was snapped from my thoughts when he tapped me on the end of my nose with his finger.

"Sammy, open your mouth and try this." He held out a small pink square, which looked like his new fudge.

I complied, snapping my mouth open. He placed the morsel on my tongue. I quickly closed my mouth and began chewing, savoring the delectable taste.

"Wow, Brad. That's amazing! I think my favorite fudge has competition now," I teased, swallowing the treat.

"I guess that just means I'll have to make more of both kinds. That doesn't sound like a bad deal." He winked and started to place more pieces of fudge on a plate for me.

Milk chocolate with white chocolate chips (my favorite), butter pecan, peanut butter, and the new one all sat on the plate. Feeling my stomach growl, I blushed slightly. I hadn't eaten in hours, since lunch at school.

"Hungry? Here, have these." He pushed the plate towards me.

I popped in piece after piece, not caring if I looked like a pig. I wasn't worried around Brad.

"Thanks, Brad. You know how much I love your fudge." I pushed the plate back towards him once I finished eating.

"You're welcome. You know you can come by anytime and I'll make fudge for you. Even if you stop by at three in the morning. I'll still get out bed and prepare whatever kind you want."

My heart jumped in my chest at his statement. "What did I ever do to deserve someone as awesome as you?" Honestly, I wondered about that a lot because deep down, I knew I didn't deserve him.

"What did I do to deserve someone as remarkable as _you_?" he threw back at me.

Instead of answering his question, I changed the subject. "How was school today?"

Brad now attended the Seattle Academy, a prestigious private school his parents made him transfer to. Apparently, he wasn't "properly educated" at Ridgeway. I still didn't understand why he transferred, even after he explained it to me. But it was the Haverfords' business, not mine.

He shrugged. "It was okay, I guess. Not much is happening right now. We're just working on a few new units before final exams. Can you believe it, only a couple more months of school! And then senior year, baby!"

"Yeah, I know how you feel. I'm ready for junior year to be done with. It's lasted too long."

"You think any time in school is too long, Sam. When's the last time you fully paid attention in a class?" He smirked at me.

I playfully swat his arm. "Shut up. I pay attention much more than you think. You know, I have a 3.75 GPA and that's with AP World History and AP World Lit!"

"Relax. I know how smart you are. I just wish you'd give up the whole 'I don't care about school' act."

"Nah, I'd rather keep it a secret and use it as defense weapon. You never know when you need to whip out your intelligence."

He chuckled and sat down next to me on a stool, reaching for a piece of fudge on the counter. "Whatever you say."

He took a bite of the morsel and groaned. "Damn, I make good fudge. How could anyone ever object?"

I rolled my eyes. "Way to be arrogant, Brad. It's really charming."

"There's my Sam. You're back." He grinned and moved his hand to tuck a stray curl behind my ear.

"Ew, Brad. My hair's a mess. I don't understand why you bother."

"If you're so disturbed by your hair, then you can go wash it. There's an open bathroom in my room. All you have to do is jump in the tub."

Feeling my cheeks heat up, I turned my head away from his gaze. Despite coming over all of the time, I never bathed or slept here. The action seemed quite intimate and I wasn't sure I was ready for that.

He sighed, noticing my hesitation. "Sam, it's not a big deal."

I hesitated a second longer before giving in. "Fine, I'll go take a bath. But I don't have any new clothes."

"You can borrow a pair of pants and shirt from me. We are, after all, both skinny. You're gonna have to roll up the pant legs, though. I'm still taller than you." He was trying to hide a smirk.

"Okay," I said shakily.

Brad got off his bar stool. "Hang on a minute. I'll go upstairs and get stuff set up for you. I'll holler when I'm done," he called over his shoulder and quickly dashed out of sight.

Lifting myself from the seat, I heard the faint sound of water trickling upstairs. My eyes lit up because I knew he was drawing me a bubble bath.

"Alright, Sam. Your bath is ready!" he shouted over the noise.

I ran up the stairs, not bothering to look where I was going. My body crashed into his, causing me to almost fall backward, but his strong arms caught me.

"Whoa, easy now. I didn't know you were this excited about washing up." He smirked, arching one eyebrow.

The close proximity made my cheeks flush. "Thanks," I mumbled.

In response, his lips softly touched my temple. "Have a good bath. I'll be downstairs making dinner."

He let me go and took the first step to descend, but I grabbed his shoulder before he could go any farther.

"You're making me dinner? Brad, you already fed me fudge. You don't have to cook an entire meal for me tonight," I protested, but he shook his head.

"Don't be silly. You know I like cooking and cooking for two is more fun anyway. You can help, if you want."

Knowing I was going to lose the argument, I went along with it. "Sure. That sounds good. What are you gonna make?"

"It's a surprise, you'll see. Now go take your bath before the water gets cold." He pushed me towards his room.

The door was open, so I stepped through. I had been in Brad's room many times so it didn't feel awkward when I entered. Everything was always clean and in the right place. I smiled briefly at his acoustic guitar resting on its stand near his bed.

Along with cooking, baking, and computers, Brad was also really into music. He wrote his own songs, which he let me hear sometimes. They always put me in a better mood because of how soothing they were.

My eyes fell on the pile of things on his bed for me. I found pair of green plaid pajama bottoms, a short sleeved gray Seattle Academy t-shirt, a couple of soft towels, a hairbrush, and a plastic bag to put my clothes into.

Gathering everything in my arms, I rushed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. Immediately, I inhaled the scent of strawberries that came from the bubble bath he used. I set the other stuff on the vanity and undressed. The marble floor felt cold underneath my feet as I walked to the tub.

Sliding my body into the porcelain white tub, I felt a sigh escape my lips at the contact with the heavenly water. I relished the warmth and cozy feeling of being in there, but knew I had to get out pretty fast to help Brad. Shampooing my hair quickly, I climbed out and got dressed, tossing my dirty clothes into the plastic bag.

My hand wiped off the mirror so I could see myself to brush my hair. The reflection that stared back at me made my stomach churn. Gone was the girl with the bright eyes, wide smile, and silky, pale complexion. Instead, an empty girl replaced her with red rimmed eyes, chapped lips, and uneven, blotchy skin.

Not wanting to depress myself even farther, I hastily tugged the brush roughly thorough my blonde hair and set it down next to the sink.

Before turning the door knob to leave, an idea popped into my head. I lifted my arm and sniffed Brad's shirt. His signature lavender and chamomile scent lingered on the material, instantly calming me. I wasn't sure if it was his laundry detergent or if he just naturally smelled like that, but it made me melt every time.

_Okay,_ I thought. _You've stalled long enough. Time to go help Brad with dinner._

As I made my way down the stairs, a powerful aroma hit me. My stomach growled and my mind pondered the ideas that Brad was making for dinner. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my lips at the thought of having a nice, quiet dinner with Bradley Haverford.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:  
**

_So this is the second part of the Chapter 2. As you can see, if I put it all in one chapter, it would have been way too long. __Thanks again for those who reviewed! It literally makes my day every time I read one.  
_

_In this chapter (as well as the other ones), when Brad writes a song, it will be the lyrics of an actual song. I can't make up lyrics, so I used other songs to help me out. _

__**Disclaimer:  
**

_Dan Schneider owns iCarly. Not me. Bruno Mars owns "Talking to the Moon." Not me. _**  
**

I padded into the kitchen and found Brad standing over the stove, stirring a pot of noodles. Another pot with sauce in it sat on the burner next to him. But my eyes were fixated on the tiny package next the stove. Oh my god, it was bacon! And not just any bacon; it was Bolivian!

I stood behind him, craning my neck to the right to see that he was stirring angel hair pasta. "Hey, stranger," I said quietly.

"Hi, Sam. Did you have a good bath?" he asked, turning to look at me.

"Yes. Thanks for everything." I smiled, reaching on my tip toes to peck his cheek.

"You're welcome. C'mon. I saved you the best part. You can prepare the bacon."

"I can't believe you got me Bolivian bacon! Isn't that stuff like fifteen bucks a pound or something?"

He raised his right shoulder, smiling back at me. "It's worth it if it makes you happy. I know you don't get it very often so I wanted to surprise you. I bought it a few days ago, tried some, and saved the rest for you. Tonight seemed like the perfect time to finish it off."

"You really are amazing, Brad," I sighed.

His cheeks colored a pale pink. "Alright, enough talking. Let's get cooking!"

"What exactly should I do with it?"

He chuckled and pulled out a frying pan, a knife, a cutting board, a glass container of olive oil, and small plastic bag filled with crushed red pepper. He laid each thing out for me on the counter.

"You're going to chop up the bacon and toss it into the pan with a bit of olive oil. I personally like a little spice so you can add the red pepper, if you want," he explained.

I nodded, reaching into the package to get the meat out. As I started to cut it, my ears picked up on an unfamiliar tune that Brad hummed while he poured the noodles into a colander.

"Is that a new song?"

"Yeah. I just wrote it yesterday. Do you want to hear it after dinner?"

"Of course! You know that I like hearing your music."

"Why, thank you." He turned to wink at me.

"So what exactly are we having tonight? You haven't told me yet."

"We are having Bolivian bacon in a butter-lemon sauce on top of angel hair pasta. The garlic roasted brussel sprouts are in the oven."

Normally, eating anything vegetable-like disgusted me, but Brad's vegetables were an exception. He could get me to eat anything as long as he prepared it. I was curious about putting the bacon in the sauce, though.

"Isn't putting Bolivian bacon in a butter-lemon sauce a bit much? The flavor of the bacon is already strong without it," I pointed out.

He flashed me a grin. "I knew you were going to ask about that. It sounds weird, but trust me, it works. My great grandma and I tried it. She says it's probably one the best things I've ever done."

"If she says that it's good, then it must be true."

Giggling softly, I tossed the bacon into the pan with the oil and a bit red pepper. After stirring it a few times with a spoon, the bacon finished cooking.

"Toss it in the sauce, will you?" Brad said over his shoulder as he grabbed oven mitts to pull out the brussel sprouts.

I followed my directions, dumping the yummy meat into the yellow tinted sauce.

"Okay, Sam. You can go sit down. I'll take everything from here."

I sat down and watched him put together our dinner. Seconds later, a plate full of angel hair pasta, bacon, and brussel sprouts appeared in front of me.

He set down his own plate before walking over to one of the cabinets to take out two glasses. Filling both of them with Peppy Cola, he placed the drinks down on the table near our food.

"Well go on. Taste it," he urged.

I quickly stuck a forkful of the food in my mouth. My eyes drifted closed and a soft moan escaped my lips.

"Bradley Haverford, this is probably the best thing I've ever tasted."

"Thank you. Are you sure it's the best thing, though? What about Fat Cakes? Or my fudge?" he teased.

"No, you dork. It's the best _meal_ I've ever had." I couldn't help but laugh, too.

It was even better than the time I went to Pini's with Freddie. Oh God. Why did I have to think about that? I couldn't let my mind wander to that dark place. Not while I was having a nice dinner with Brad.

I tried to push the thoughts away by focusing on eating. To distract myself from the dull ache in my heart, I shoved more of my meal in my mouth.

"You sure like my cooking." Happiness radiated in his voice.

"Mhhhm," I mumbled and swallowed. A blush painted my cheeks as I realized how much of a pig I probably appeared to be.

"Don't be embarrassed, Sam. It's just me."

"What?" I took a sip of Peppy Cola, pushing my plate away. My stomach couldn't take anymore, despite the fact that it tasted tremendous.

"The way you eat. You shouldn't feel self-conscious around me. I find it kind of cute, actually. If it's something you like, you dig in without hesitation. It's annoying when girls constantly worry about how they look when they eat around guys. I really don't mind so don't feel weird about it."

Damn, that boy could read me like an open book. Everyone else thought I was extremely hard to decipher, but Brad could do it without even trying. It was impressive and scary at the same time.

"How can you read me that easily, Brad? No one else can get inside my head. Carly comes the closest, but even she sometimes doesn't get what's going on."

His green eyes met mine and glowed with some emotion I couldn't figure out.

"I don't know how I can. I just do. All I know is that at times, it seems I know you better than you know yourself."

The air suddenly felt a little thick, but I was used to it. Moments like this became more common as we spent more time together. He'd say something incredibly melt-worthy, and if I didn't control myself, I'd jump all over him.

It scared the hell out of me how easy it could be to fall for Brad. He had every positive quality that girls looked for in a guy: intelligence, good looks, humor, culinary skills, musical talent, and such a kind personality.

But I didn't love Brad. I _couldn't_. I only fell in love once and never again did I want to experience that awful feeling. Real love hurt like hell the first time, so it had to be last.

Brad deserved someone better than me. He deserved someone who wasn't broken. Someone who had a good heart like his own. Someone that could make him deliriously happy. _Not me._

Even if I couldn't have him romantically, I still had him as a friend. I didn't push him away. It wasn't possible for me to do that, considering I wasn't strong enough to.

He cleared his throat, hoping for a response. However, I couldn't come up with something to say after that. So I changed the subject.

"Do you need help with the dishes?"

"Nah. I got it. Why don't you go get some wood from the box and put it into the fireplace? I'll do the dishes, you start the fire, and we can sit in front of it while I play you my song. Sound good?"

I leaned over and kissed the side of his head. "That sounds perfect. Thanks again for dinner," I whispered.

"Anytime, Sam. You know that."

We each did our own tasks in silence. When I finished with mine, I stood in front of the fireplace, pondering my relationship with Brad when he snuck up behind me. He wrapped his left arm around my waist, while his right hand held the guitar. I shivered a bit from both the warmth of his body and the fire.

"Ready to listen?" he murmured into my ear.

"Yes," I breathed, trying to calm my thundering heart.

He unwound his arm and tugged on my hand, signaling for us to sit down.

Once I sank to the ground, the heat from the fire wrapped me in a blanket of warmth. I wanted to fall asleep right there. It was just so…_peaceful_.

"Alright, Sam. I just wrote this so it may sound a little rusty. Tell me what you think, okay?"

I nodded, motioning for him to go.

He closed his eyes and in a soft voice, began to sing the lyrics while strumming the guitar.

_I know you're somewhere out there_

_Somewhere far away_

_I want you back, I want you back_

_My neighbors think I'm crazy, but they don't understand_

_You're all I have, you're all I have_

_At night when the stars up light up my room_

_I sit by myself, talking to the moon_

_Trying to get to you_

_In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too_

_Or am I fool who sits alone talking to the moon?_

_I'm feeling like I'm famous _

_The talk of the town, saying I've gone mad_

_Yeah, I've gone mad_

_But they don't know what I know_

_Cause when the sun goes down, someone's talking back_

_Yeah, they're talking back_

_At night when the stars up light up my room_

_I sit by myself, talking to the moon_

_Trying to get to you_

_In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too_

_Or am I fool who sits alone talking to the moon?_

_Ahh Ahh_

_Ahh Ahh_

_Do you ever hear me calling?_

_Cause every night I'm talking to the moon_

_Still trying to get to you_

_In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too_

_Or am I fool who sits alone talking to the moon?_

_I know you're somewhere out there_

_Somewhere far away_

When he finished with the last line, his eyes opened slowly. Setting his guitar down on the ground, he searched my face, waiting for me to say something.

The familiar sensation of tears burned the backs of my eyes. But I wouldn't cry, not this time. The song was just so…_beautiful_, though.

"Brad, that was incredible. I don't think I've ever heard anything more beautiful than that song," I whispered, hoping my voice didn't crack.

He inched closer and brushed his fingers over my heated cheek, sighing softly. His dazzling green eyes smoldered with unspoken emotion. I could feel myself getting lost in them. Only one thought raced through my mind: if I leaned forward a bit, our lips would meet.

_No! Stop thinking about it!_ I thought. I couldn't think of us as more than friends. I couldn't imagine kissing him. It wasn't right.

"Thank you, Sam. For listening and for saying that." His lips touched my forehead for a brief second before he leaned back, away from me.

I immediately missed the close contact we had. But he just pulled me to him, crushing me to his chest. Hearing his steady heartbeat made me sigh in contentment. Nothing could have been more perfect than this very moment. We didn't say anything; just stayed in each other's arms while the fire crackled in the background.

Deciding to break the silence, I looked up at him and smiled. "What was the inspiration for the song? Do you really talk to the moon?"

He chuckled. "You know how I have that balcony in my room?"

"Yeah, I do. There's a small table and a couple chairs out there. A large oak tree is near it, too. It's nice."

"Well, I go out on the balcony every night before I go to bed. I sit on one of the chairs and just stare at the sky. It's really relaxing out there. Anyway, there was a full moon the other night. I didn't exactly talk _to_ the moon, but I mulled things over in my head when I looked at it. It became my muse, so I decided to write the song that night."

"What were you thinking about when you were out there?"

He shrugged. "Just some stuff that's been on my mind for awhile."

"Okay, then," I laughed. Judging from his evasiveness, he didn't want to talk about it. I didn't press him because I knew he'd tell me when he was ready.

"You'll find out soon. Not now, but soon enough," he said, a small smile playing on the corners of his mouth.

"Alright, Brad. Sounds good." A second later, I yawned involuntarily.

"Tired?"

"Yeah, it's been a long day. I should probably get going."

I really didn't want to, not at all. I literally had force myself to pull away from his comforting arms. The only thing I wanted to do was stay there, in that moment forever.

Walking over to the window, I pushed the curtain aside. The night sky was painted an ominous black, and the sound heavy rainfall filled my ears. A flash of lightning zoomed across the sky, followed by a loud crack of thunder. _Great. _Now I had to walk home in the terrible weather.

Turning around, I found Brad right behind me.

"I need to get going. I'm gonna get soaked as it is. Thanks again for everything, Brad. I really appreciate it."

I leaned in to give him a good-bye hug but he stopped me in the process. Confusion clouded my face at his action.

"Sam, I can't let you go out there. You'll catch a cold if you walk in that. Not to mention, you'll be all alone during the night while it storms outside. Please just stay here tonight. I'll feel better if I know you're safe."

God, my heart ached at his words. He wanted to make sure I was _safe_. How the hell did I luck out with such a good friend? But I couldn't impose on him like that.

I shook my head. "I can't stay, Brad. I feel guilty enough having you cook, comfort, and look after me. You don't need to house me, too."

"Don't be ridiculous. You know I love it every time you come over. And I don't mind when I have to comfort you. I'm here for you, whenever you need me."

Staying silent, I looked down, fiddling with the hem of t-shirt I was wearing. After a few seconds of silence, I glanced back at him and found that he wore a face of determination.

"Sam, stay here tonight. Just tonight, okay? You can leave in the morning, if you want. The guest room is available upstairs. I think you might be more comfortable here than going home right now."

He stepped closer, locking our gazes. Green on blue. I felt my resolve start to crumble.

"Won't your parents mind? If a girl stays in their house without their permission?"

"They won't mind, I promise. They're at a fancy party tonight and won't be back until two in the morning. Honestly, my parents aren't worried when it comes to things like that. As long as I do well in school, don't do anything illegal, and spend time with my great grandma, they don't care. They'll leave by five to go to work, so you won't even run into them. My parents know how things are with us. There's nothing to worry about."

I sighed. Was I ready for this? The only other time I slept over at a guy's house was when I dated Freddie. I shuddered at the past tense. This was a bad idea. Spending the night would bring back every good memory of Freddie I had. I wasn't about to open that gaping hole in my heart again.

"Brad, I can't. I'm sorry, but I have to go." I brushed past him, grabbing my bag of clothes from the floor. "I'll call you when I get home to let you know I'm safe," I said, reaching for the doorknob.

"Sam, stop. Turn around and look at me."

I froze, hand still on the doorknob. All I had to do was open the door and I'd be out. Instead, I obeyed what my body wanted to do, so I turned and stared at him.

He held my gaze steadily, taking his hand to cover mine. He eased it away from the door to lace our fingers together.

"Stay. Please? I need you to stay. I don't want to be alone tonight, either." His voice was very soft, but filled with sincerity.

I glanced at his hopeful face and my resolve crumbled to nothing. Saying no after that was impossible.

"Okay," I mumbled. "I'll stay." I wrapped my arms around him, bringing my ear over to where his heart lay. The quick thudding made me smile.

"Good. Then let's get you to bed. I know how tired you are."

He guided me up the stairs, his hand still attached to mine. I followed him into the room across the hall from his. The large, comfy bed looked very inviting at the moment. I yawned again and glanced at the clock. 11:30 stared back at me in bright red numbers.

"Go lie down. I'll tuck you in, Sammy." He nudged me in the direction of the bed.

I did what I was told, peeling back the comforter and slipping into bed. He pulled the blanket over me, tucking it around my body.

"Do you need anything else? I can get it for you, if you do," he said, gently smoothing my hair.

"No, I think I'm okay. Thank you, Brad," I murmured, feeling my eyelids grow heavy.

"You're welcome. If you need me, I'll be in my room. I'm tired, too." He leaned down to kiss my cheek. "Goodnight and sleep tight."

He turned away and flicked off the light, closing the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone, my eyes closed. I sighed, falling into a deep slumber.

**_Review, please?_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:  
**

_Okay, so please don't shoot me after reading this part! This is when Freddie gets OOC, but you'll see why. Trust me, it was really hard to write that part of the chapter. _**  
**

_This will also be the last update for awhile. Up until now, I've pretty much planned out everything I've wanted to say, but now I don't know where to go. I have to sit down and decide what's going to happen next. Don't worry, though. I have full intentions to finish the story. But reviews keep me going, so please if you will, review. Thanks to those who already do. _

**Disclaimer:**_  
_

_I don't own iCarly and "All You Wanted." Those belong to Dan Schneider and Michelle Branch. _**  
**

_I quietly rapped on window that led to fire escape. His back faced me, while he stared at Seattle skyline. It seemed like he didn't hear me, so I banged a little louder. He sighed, turning around to motion for me to come closer. _

_Once I was within a few feet of him, his eyes caught my attention. They were dark, too dark. And very cold looking. _

"_What the hell do you want, Sam?" he growled at me. _

"_Freddie, what happened to you?" I took a step backwards, afraid he was going to lash out again. _

"_What are you talking about?" He sounded both confused and angry. _

"_Why are you acting this way?" _

_He smirked at me, but not playfully. Instead, it was a horrendous, evil smirk that made my stomach churn. _

"_I'm not acting, Sam. Not this time. I've always been this way. You were just too blind to see. Ha, blinded by love! How cliché. Anyway, I made you think that I was a decent guy. But really? I'm selfish and needy. But I wasn't needy for you. The only thing I need is Carly," he spat out, purposely putting emphasis on her name. _

_I stumbled back again, as if I'd been hit in the face. Tears formed in my eyes at his harsh words. "Freddie…" I mumbled miserably. _

"_God, Sam! Did you really think that I loved you? You're not Carly. Let's face it, you're nowhere near her level of perfection. Don't think for a second that I would choose you over her. She's all I'll ever want and need." _

_Hot tears ran down my face as I tried to breathe, but my lungs felt constricted. I gasped for breath, coming out short. _

"_So it was all a game, Freddie? You wanted me to get to her?" I choked out. _

_He laughed bitterly. "Of course. It was nothing more than a game. I played you, and guess what? I won." He gave me that same awful smirk again. _

_By this point, I was sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't know what else to do, so I leaned closer to him, seeking comfort. Maybe this was all just a joke, and he'd hug me and say everything would be alright. But the only thing he did was push me back forcefully. _

"_Get the hell away from me, Sam. I don't want to see you again. Please leave Carly and me alone. We don't need you anymore." He abruptly turned away from me, ending the conversation. _

_Instead of fighting with him, I ran to the window, ready to leave. Before I stepped through, I had to have the answer to one more thing. _

"_Do you remember the thing I asked you at the restaurant? Your crush on Carly isn't new, is it?"_

_He whipped around, icy brown eyes glaring at me. "I don't have a crush on her. I love her, Sam. I always have, and I always will. That's not new at all. I guess it's not too late for her to love me." _

_I gulped, feeling more tears flow, and stepped through the window. Where his room should have been, there lay a black hole instead. I kept falling, faster and faster into the deep hole. Screaming didn't help because no one was there. The only sound available was Freddie's bitter laughter. _

I woke up, thrashing violently, drenched in sweat. Burning tears stung my eyes as I tried to breathe, but my throat felt closed up and dry. I gasped for air, desperately trying to control myself.

I did the only thing I could do: run across the hall to Brad's room. Flinging open the door, I squinted into the darkness to find him.

"Sam? Is that you?" His voice was thick with sleep as he sat up slowly, flicking on the lamp on his desk.

"Brad," I sobbed, dashing to him and throwing myself into his surprised arms.

"Shhh…Sam. Shhh. Calm down. I've got you." He locked me in a tight embrace, tucking my head under his chin. "Shhh. It's okay. I'm here."

The tears wouldn't stop, though. They kept flowing, soaking another shirt of his. My breaths came out shallow and forced, and it felt like I could collapse at any minute.

So he did the only thing he could to calm me down: sing.

_I wanted to be like you_

_I wanted everything _

_So I tried to be like you_

_And that got swept away_

_I didn't know that, it was so cold and_

_You needed to someone to show you the way_

_So I took your hand and we figured out that_

_When the time comes, I'll take you away-ay_

_If you want to, I can save you_

_I can take you away from here_

_So lonely inside, so busy out there_

_And all you wanted was somebody who cares_

Just like before, my body relaxed at the sound of his voice. I slowly lifted my head to peer into his eyes. They were filled with concern and anguish.

"Sam? Please say something," he begged.

"I'm sorry, Brad. I-I had a n-nightmare," I stammered, looking down.

Using his pointer finger, he tilted my chin up to meet his gaze. "Do you want to talk about it? I can't stand to see you so upset. Please tell me what's going on."

I sighed softly. "It was about Freddie. He said it was just a game with me. He used me to get to Carly because she's all he's ever wanted and needed. God, it was bad."

He tensed up at the mention of Freddie, immediately tightening his grip on me. Another sigh left my mouth. His arms felt so safe and comforting.

"I'm so sorry, Sam. I wish you didn't feel this way. I want to fix you so badly, you don't even know."

"You _have_ fixed me, Brad. Trust me, I'd be much worse without you."

He didn't reply, just reached out to stroke my hair. After sitting for a few minutes in silence, I could feel my eyes getting heavy again. But I knew I couldn't handle going back to the guest room alone.

"You're getting sleepy. You should go back to bed."

"Don't leave me. Please," I pleaded.

"I promise I won't." He gently pushed me down to lie on his bed.

Brad settled in next to me, after he turned off the light. It wasn't enough, though. His arms weren't around me because he was probably afraid that I didn't want the contact. It would remind me about nights with Freddie. His thoughts were true, but I didn't care. I _needed_ him right now.

"Brad, wrap your arms around me. Please?"

He responded right away, snaking his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. The delicious warmth made me feel much better.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes. More than you can imagine." I tried to get closer to him, finally stopping and resting my head on his chest.

"Try to get some sleep, Sam. You need to function tomorrow," he said and carefully kissed the top of my head.

"I'll try. Goodnight, Brad."

This time, I fell into an even deeper slumber. There were no nightmares, no horrid images. I felt safe and warm. I felt at _home_. Right here in Brad's arms.

**_Review, please?_**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

_I'm so sorry for wait on this, you guys! I literally just felt inspired to jump back into this fic a few days ago. I've been debating what I wanted to do with it, and I finally figured it out. So, now I now the direction in which its headed. No worries, though. I'm definitely going to finish it :) _

_Anyway, the chapter is a lot lighter than some of the other ones have been, and will be. Sam deserved some happiness, so of course I had to give it to her. Enjoy! Again, I apologize for the long wait.  
_

**Disclaimer:**_  
_

_Nope, I still haven't gotten the rights to iCarly. It still belongs to Mr. Dan Schneider. _**  
**

* * *

My eyes fluttered open the next morning, adjusting to the bright rays of sunlight. I shifted my gaze to the left, expecting to see Brad's sleeping body, but found no one there. Instead, a note lay on his pillow. I picked it up, examining his handwriting.

_**Sam, **_

_**I'm right downstairs, making breakfast. When you wake up, just come down, and it will be ready for you.**_

_** Yours,**_

_** Brad**_

**_P.S. Don't forget that I will always be there to chase away your nightmares, no matter how scary they are. No nightmare will ever make you cry again, I promise. By the way, you weren't the only one who felt safe last night. There was no other place I would have rather been than in my bed, with you in my arms._ **

My breath caught in my throat. That was the _sweetest _thing someone had ever said to me. I knew Brad had a way with words, but wow. And this early, too? The boy wouldn't ever stop amazing me. My heart started to jump around in my chest, which caused me to jump back into reality.

_No,_ I thought. _I can't think of Brad like this. We're only friends, and it needs to stay that way._

Shaking my head to get rid of the thoughts, I climbed out of bed and stretched. I probably looked like hell, so I walked to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. Already waiting for me on the counter was a new toothbrush, some toothpaste, and a towel.

I finished up quickly, and raced out of his room. As I descended the stairs, the smell of ham drifted around me. Wait. Ham! Brad made ham this morning? The aroma of eggs filled the air, too. My stomach growled at the very thought of ham and eggs.

Once I came into the kitchen, my eyes strayed to the plate of food set out for me, along with a glass of orange juice.

"Morning, Sam. I see you got my note." He grinned, grabbing a plate of food for himself.

"Yeah, I did. Brad, you didn't need to make breakfast. You already do too much for me."

He laughed, shrugging. "It's not a big deal. I figured you'd be hungry, so I whipped us up some honey-glazed ham and scrambled eggs."

"What time did you get up? How'd you prepare a ham this fast?" I sat down and shoved a forkful of food in, relishing the remarkable taste.

"I've been up since six. I'm usually an early riser, anyway. We had an uncooked ham in the fridge so I thought, _why not?_ I knew it'd make you happy, so I went ahead and started cooking."

"You've been at this for four hours!" I exclaimed, pausing to take a sip of orange juice. "You really do spoil me."

"Only for the best for Samantha Puckett," he said, taking a bit of his food.

I blushed involuntarily, looking down at my now empty plate. That way, I wouldn't have to stare into his eyes.

"I need to get going. Everything has been awesome, but I should go back to…." I trailed off.

Come to think of it, I didn't have plans for the day. Normally, I'd be over at the Shay apartment with both of my friends, but that idea didn't appeal to me. I couldn't face Freddie today after the nightmare, and I wasn't in the mood to spend girl time with Carly. Jeez, what was I turning into?

Lifting my eyes up to Brad's, I found him with a confused look on his face.

"Back to what? Are you going to hang out with Carly and Freddie?" His whole body tensed up when he said Freddie's name.

"I originally thought about it, but I honestly don't feel like it. Maybe I should call Gibby? He and I could go see a movie. I can check to see if Wendy wants to come, too."

"Or, you could spend your day with me. Unless the idea repulses you," he teased.

Laughing, I lightly shoved him. "Of course the idea doesn't repulse me. But you dealt with me all last night. Don't you have something better to do than babysit a teenage girl?"

"No, I don't. And I'm not babysitting you; it's called _hanging out_. Actually, I was planning on spending the day with you anyway. I have some things in mind." His green eyes twinkled with the last sentence.

I immediately felt guilty about having to take up all of Brad's time, but I didn't say anything. It would pointless to argue with him, so I let it go.

"Okay, Mr. Haverford. What's on the agenda?" I smiled, picking up both of our plates to wash off, and then place in the dish washer. Turning back towards him, I saw a large grin spread across his lips.

"I thought maybe we could go for a walk today? Go down to the lake and enjoy being outside. I'd hate to be cooped up in the house right now, since the weather is so nice."

"That sounds good. Are we planning out the rest of the day or no?"

"I might have something up my sleeve." He winked at me.

I giggled in response. "Alright then. So, it's just you and me, right?"

He reached for my hand and squeezed it. "Yup, just you and me."

* * *

After we both showered and got dressed (I just wore my sweat pants from yesterday with another shirt of Brad's), we started to walk in the direction of the lake.

He clutched my hand the whole time, swinging it back and forth between us. I didn't mind it in the least because it always made me feel safe when he did that. Every once in a while, I glanced at him, taking in his presence.

His caramel colored hair glinted in the late morning sunshine. I had to resist the urge to run my hands through his locks. They looked so soft and silky. My eyes ran down his body, scanning the dark red _Rolling Stones_ t-shirt that rested on his slender torso. Along with it, he wore regular blue jeans, and his black Converse.

Sighing quietly, I fought to contain my thoughts. _If only…_

"What are you looking at, Sammy?" He playfully smirked at me.

I blushed at having been caught red handed. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"Sure. That's what you want me to believe."

Rolling my eyes, I mumbled, "Whatever."

When we came closer to the lake, he broke into a run. I easily kept up with him, as we made our way to the dock that hung above the water. We sat down on edge of the dock, and at a lightning fast speed, Brad slipped off his socks and shoes. Grinning, he stuck both of his feet into the pool of endless blue.

"Wow, Brad. Eager much?" I chuckled, letting my feet skim the surface.

"Yeah. I've been waiting all week for this. You have no idea how boring school can be sometimes."

My booming laughter echoed around us. "Oh, trust me. I _know_ how boring school is. Don't you remember that I'm the most famous slacker in Washington? You should know that," I chided.

He raised his hand to his heart in mock surprise. "Why, Samantha Puckett. I have no idea what you're talking about. Since when are you a slacker? You seem like such a nose to the grindstone person."

"Shut up." I lightly pushed him, causing him to almost fall off the platform and into the water.

"Hey! We didn't bring our swim suits, so sabotaging to try to get me wet."

"Why didn't we bring our suits?"

"We already showered, silly. We don't need to get soaked again. Plus, there isn't enough time to go back home if we're going to do other things today. But a little water won't hurt us."

I nodded. "You're right. We won't melt."

Cracking a smile, he let out laugh. "Wizard of Oz reference, I see."

"Well, of course. It's a classic movie. I mean, swirling houses, ruby red shoes, a good witch, a bad witch, a dog, and a bunch of other craziness. Who wouldn't love the movie?"

"No one that I know. I still think it's a great, even though I haven't seen it since in years." He turned to wink at me, wagging his eyebrows. "Plus, Glinda was kind of hot."

I snorted. "Of course you'd focus on that part of the movie."

"Hey, I'm a guy. I'm expected to look at the ladies."

"Whatever." I smirked and shoved him once more. This time, he didn't come close to falling in, since he clung onto my arm.

"Jeez, Sam! Is this Try-To-Push-Brad-Into-The-Water-To-Make-Him-Look-Like-A-Fool Day?" He pouted, jutting out his bottom lip.

I shook my head, trying to stop the huge grin that was threatening to spread across my face. "Dude, that's way too long of a name for a day. And no, it isn't. You're acting like a smart ass, so I can't help it."

"But that's why you like me." He winked again, slinging his arm around my shoulders.

I leaned in closer to him, resting my head against his. The heat radiating off of him wrapped around me in what felt like a comforting blanket. "You're right, Brad," I sighed softly.

"Whenever am I ever wrong?"

"Just when I think you're charming, you turn around and have to be all smart ass-y again."

"As if you've never acted that way." He gently knocked his shoulder into mine, causing me to giggle.

"What are you talking about? I'm the picture of innocence." Turning to him, I widened my eyes, making sure to look child-like and harmless.

"You've got to me kidding me."

"Hey! I can be innocent when I want to be," I protested.

"Yeah, when you _want_ to be. That hardly happens," he scoffed lightly, rolling his green eyes.

Shrugging out of his embrace, I adjusted my body so my back was to him. Of course, I wasn't actually offended, but I wanted to see if playing stubborn would work on him.

"Oh, c'mon. Don't be like that, Sam. You know I didn't mean it," he whispered next to my ear, which made me shiver from his warm breath.

"How do I know you were only joking?" I asked, hearing the shakiness in my voice.

"Because do you really think I'd do anything to hurt you?" he answered, as his lips ghosted over my cheek.

I responded automatically. "No. You wouldn't do that to me."

Damn him for having such an effect on me! I was so fucking close to just turning around and crushing my lips to his. Couldn't he see the closer he got to me in _that_ way, the more likely I'd actually fall for him?

"Exactly. You should know that I love messing with you. And acting like a smart ass happens to be a part of it."

He pulled away, and spun me around. I came face-to-face with those dazzling emerald orbs that always managed to make my heart pound for some reason.

"Of course I knew you were just kidding. But I wanted to see if I could get back at you by playing stubborn."

"Ugh, you and your sneaky ways."

I answered him with a laugh, taking his hand in mine. Our fingers wove together, as I shifted my attention to the lake. Hushed seagull calls filled my ears, as well as the sound of the water lapping around us. A comfortable silence fell between us, as we both stared at the beautiful scenery.

Occasionally, my eyes would wander away from the water to look at him. My breath hitched in my throat each time that happened. God, what was wrong with me? It wasn't like I had feelings for him, so this was completely irrational. Still, I couldn't help but feel like I was on cloud nine whenever I was with him.

"Have you ever thought about the future, Sam?"

His voice broke me out of my thoughts, which made me change my body position so I could face him.

"What do you mean?"

"Have you thought about what you want to do once we're done with high school?"

"Yes, I do. I know it's kind of shocking, but I have a plan. Obviously, it's open to change, but for the most part, I know where I'm headed."

Brad titled his head to the side, while a stunned expression crossed his features. "I thought you said you liked to slack off?"

"Sometimes I do, but it's less often now. Somewhere along the line, I started getting serious about school. I put actual effort into things I did, and now I'm doing pretty well. I'm hoping that I can get accepted into a decent college. I'd like to go places, Brad. I don't want to end up like my mom, who hops from guy to guy, and can't hold down a job. I'll have to work hard to get wherever I want to be in life. At least it will be worth it that way."

Suddenly, a big smile appeared on Brad's lips. I had no idea why, but whatever the reason, it was infectious. I could feel my lips turning upright to form a grin.

"When did you get so mature, Sammy?"

"I don't know. It just kind of happened," I laughed.

"Any particular college in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking about University of Washington. The other option is Washington State University-West. I want to dive into the full experience, so I might as well shoot for the top choices, right?"

"That's right. Any plans on what you want to study?"

Nudging him with my shoulder, I chuckled. "What's with the twenty questions?"

He held up his hands in mock surrender. "Hey, I'm curious here. Acquiring minds need to know."

"Alright, fine. I want to major in English. Since I've discovered my love for reading, I've become absorbed in learning more about it. Plus, writing interests me, too, since it goes hand- in-hand with reading. I don't know what jobs are out there for people with English degrees, but I'll find something. I'd rather study something that I enjoy, instead of putting myself through the torture of an uninteresting subject."

"Whoa. You've really thought this through, haven't you?" he asked with that same smile he had before.

"I guess I have. What about you? Any plans for later on?"

He shrugged. "Sort of. I basically have four options; three of which I like, and the last one is what my parents want. Even though they don't have much in my life, they still want to control a part of it. The part that projects the right image for them," he gritted through his teeth.

"And that would be?"

Running his other hand through his hair, he sighed. "If I become a hot shot like them, they'll be happy. My parents are both CEOs of huge companies, and they'd appreciate if I followed in their footsteps. But I _don't_ want to be like them. I mean, who wants to work that much, party nonstop, and then get up and do it all again? It sounds like a waste of time."

"It does sound pretty bad. I can't imagine you doing that to yourself."

"Oh, it's horrible. I've seen what it's done to my parents. They used to care about me, before they got wrapped up in work. Anyway, I'm _not_ going into the business realm of things. I'll probably do something with computer science, music, or cooking. I've considered attending culinary school after college, but I'm not sure. I can always study computer science, though. There are a ton of jobs in that. For music, I'd probably end up teaching it, since it's difficult to find jobs in that area."

"Looks like I'm not the only one who's maturing. You're already seeing a part of your future, too," I said, smiling at him.

"Yup. I'm going to be so glad when I get to leave the Seattle Academy. I can't stand it there. Plus, college will be fun because it's chance for fresh starts. I'm seriously looking forward to it."

"Me too. Hey, I kind of have a random question for you. It's my turn, since you got to fire them at me before."

"Ask away, Sam. What do you want to know?"

"I know you explained it to me before, but I didn't get it at the time. Why did your parents take you out of Ridgeway? You said it had to do with not being "properly educated", but there's got to more to it than that."

He sighed again, frowning slightly. "There is. My parents didn't exactly agree with the whole web show thing. They thought it wouldn't help my future career if I was seen doing kid's entertainment. That's why they made me quit. As for leaving Ridgeway, they felt that if they placed me in a prestigious school, I'd finally get my head straight. If you didn't know, the Academy is highly known for directing students towards areas of business."

"Man, that sucks. It seems like they care, but at the same time they don't."

"Precisely. They care enough to make themselves look better, but not to benefit me. At any rate, we should quit talking about stuff that bugs me. How about we get out of here, and go to the park? If I recall, there's a bunch of food over there, like hotdog, lemonade, and candy stands. Sound good?"

"You don't even need to ask. Let's go!" I exclaimed excitedly, pulling Brad up from his sitting position.

We threw on our footgear as fast as we could. Then just like that, we were running in the direction of the park. As we moved, I couldn't help but look at Brad. The grin on his face could have gone on for miles, as his green eyes twinkled with delight.

I felt the pang in my chest again, where my heart lay. _How the hell did I end up so lucky? _I thought to myself.

Shaking my head, I couldn't find the answer. But one thing I knew for sure. If I didn't stop myself, I would fall for Bradley Haverford. And sadly, falling didn't always mean there would be someone there to catch me. Having learned that the hard way, I knew I couldn't go through with it again.

As I glanced at Brad once more, I knew it was going to be easier said than done.

* * *

"Higher, Brad! Push me higher!" I shouted over the sound of the rushing wind.

"I'm trying!" he said, using all of his strength to push me on the swing.

A loud laugh left my mouth, as my lips curved into a big grin. I had never felt freer than when I was swinging. The feeling of being weightless and soaring in the sky always managed to make me happy.

"Sam, I think you need to slow down! You ate three hotdogs, an ice-cream cone with two scoops, and drank a large lemonade. If you're not careful, you're going to upchuck all of that. It won't be a pretty sight, either!"

Of course, he was right. After arriving at the park, we immediately grabbed food. Like I said, whenever I was with Brad, my appetite appeared to be normal. So, I ate quite a bit until my stomach couldn't take it anymore.

I desperately wanted to go play on swings soon after eating, even though it probably wasn't the brightest idea. Luckily, I wasn't feeling sick, but I didn't want to get to that point. Letting out a sigh of defeat, I started to slow down.

"Ugh, fine. You can stop pushing me if you want," I answered, motioning for him to return to his own swing.

He followed my orders, and sat down to gently pump his legs. "Don't sound so upset. I'm just trying to make sure you're alright."

Smirking at him, I nodded. "I know. But this is a ton of fun. I haven't done this in awhile, and I realize that I miss it. I kind of hate to admit it, but swinging is one of my favorite things to do. It makes me feel like I'm really flying, you know? Like I can escape whenever I want to."

"Yeah, I get it. I've always liked it, too. My parents used to bring me here a lot, when I was a kid. They'd take turns pushing me until I felt tired enough to go home. Good times," he sighed with a sad smile on his face.

I continued to swing, but maintained a slower pace. Brad joined, and we easily matched each other in height. Twisting my head, I looked at Brad, who in return, gazed back at me.

"That must have been nice. At least you got to spend some time with them when you were young. It sucks that they're jerks now, though. Doesn't it get lonely in your house if they aren't there most of the time?"

"It does. I wish the three of us could bond and hang out. Like go on family vacations or something. I'm pretty jealous of kids who get to have a relationship with their parents. They don't know how lucky they have it. I'm just glad that I have my great-grandma around, and my school friends. But to be honest, sometimes they don't even cut it. At least you're always here for me. I might be unlucky with the whole parental situation, but I have you. I guess I'm luckier than most people, huh?"

At his words, a heated blush spread across my cheeks. I could feel a tiny fluttering in my stomach, and my palms started to feel slick against the metal chains. Did he really just say that?

I giggled nervously. "I guess you are."

"When's the last time you came here?" he questioned, switching the subject.

I was thankful when he did that, but the topic caused my heart to thunder. I internally cringed at the answer. God, I did _not_ want to talk about this at the moment. However, he waited expectantly for my response. Sighing, I slowed completely down so that I wasn't moving anymore. He stopped as well, pushing his feet into the gravel to hold himself down.

I cast my gaze onto the ground, while still clinging on to the chains. "It was the fourth date with Freddie. We didn't know what to do that night because neither of us had a lot of money. He suggested the park, and I agreed. I told him about my love of swings, so we spent most of the date on them. We also climbed the jungle gym over there." I pointed my thumb in the direction where the object stood. "And we played on the monkey bars. It was one of my favorite times with him. We acted like total kids, and nothing was better than that."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to make you remember." His voice was soft, containing notes of regret.

Raising my head, I smiled at him, but it didn't reach my eyes. It was a cheerless smile, like the one he gave me earlier when talked about his parents.

"It's okay, Brad. It was a better memory of him, so I don't mind. I mean, I can't avoid it forever, can I? He and I are over. It sucks, but that's the truth. I deal with the guy pretty much every day. It fucking hurts each time, but I put up with it."

"Sam, I—" he began, but I cut him off.

"It's fine. Look, I'd rather not go on and on about him. We should quit talking about all of this serious stuff, and have fun." I quirked my eyebrow, as my lips twitched into a smirk.

Whenever Freddie was inserted in a conversation I had with somebody, I put my façade back up. I normally didn't do that to Brad, but I didn't want to ruin my day with him. I could mope and complain about my failed relationship with Freddie on my own time. I didn't want to use up Brad's, too.

"Okay. Well, the park isn't the last part of our day together. I still have another thing I'd like to do with you."

He got off of his swing to come to mine. He gently tugged on my hand, making me stand up. His arm wrapped around my waist, and two of us started walking in another direction.

"Oh, what might that be?"

"It's a surprise. I can't give it away. But first we need to make a pit stop at my great- grandma's. I need to pick something up."

"Braaaaad," I whined. "Why can't you tell me where we're going? You know that I'm not a fan of surprises."

"No can do. I'm sure you'll like it, though. Anyway, the thing I have to get at my great-grandma's is going to add to the whole experience."

"Ugh, you're impossible!"

"But that's why you like me," he repeated, bending down to plant a playful kiss on the top of my head.

"You're right again," I replied, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Well, obviously. I'm a know-it-all, so of course I'm right. I thought we already established this." He rolled his eyes, as the right side of his mouth lifted into a half-smile.

"And there you go being a smart ass again."

"Always." He squeezed my side, and softly laughed.

We continued along a path until we reached a little white house.

"You can stay out here, if you want. I'll just be a minute," he said, unwinding his arm from around me.

"I'll stay out here. Is she home? The house lights aren't on."

"She's here. She knew that I'd be dropping by, so she made sure to be home. She's probably in the kitchen, which is in the back."

"Ah, I see. I'm assuming she's making more fudge?"

"Duh, she leaves and breaths it. Who else would I pick up the trade from?"

"Point taken."

Brad flashed me a smile, before bounding up the steps and walking inside the house. In his absence, I shifted my focus and took in the sight of the dainty house with aqua shutters, the impeccable lawn, and all of the brightly colored flowers on the porch.

I had met Mrs. Haverford a few times, and from what I knew of her, she was the coolest older person ever. Not only could she make spectacular fudge, but she was extremely nice, too.

Around two minutes later, Brad flew out of the house, with a small picnic basket in one his hands. He stopped in front of me, slightly out of breath.

"What are you doing that with that?" I asked, gesturing to the object.

"It's a part of the surprise tonight. You're going have to wait and see." He tapped me at the end of my nose, grinning.

"Alright, alright. Let's go because I'm dying to know what we're doing!"

"You're so impatient, Sammy," he joked.

"And you're surprised?"

"Not in the least. But you're right; we have to leave now. The surprise won't stay for long, so we need to head out."

Suddenly, the front door opened, and out stepped Mrs. Haverford. She waved to both of us. Her silver hair flowed in the gentle breeze, as her green eyes crinkled with happiness. A slow smile lit up her face.

"Hello, Sam," she called.

"Hi, Mrs. Haverford. How are you?" I answered, waving back to her.

"Pretty good, actually. Just wanted to come out and say hi. I think you'll have a nice time with Bradley tonight. I believe he's out done himself this time."

"Is that so?"

"Grandma! Don't give it away!" Brad spoke up.

"Sorry, Bradley. But you forgot something." Her smile spread farther on her mouth, as she pointed towards her cheek.

He laughed, running up the steps to peck her on the cheek. "Thanks, Grandma. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome, honey. Have fun tonight."

She touched his shoulder with her hand, and gently pushed him towards me. Redirecting her attention, she made eye contact with me.

"It was nice to see you again, Sam. Enjoy your night!"

"Thank you! You have a good night as well."

When Brad reached me, he took my hand, and guided us away from the house. We took a familiar path to get to our destination, and I recognized it instantly.

"Why are we going back to the lake?" I asked, confusion laced in my voice.

He ignored my question. "Sam, it's a surprise! If I tell you, it will ruin it. We're only a minute away, so you'll get to see what it is. However, I do need you to close your eyes. Just hold on tightly to my hand, and I'll lead you, okay?"

I groaned, but let my eyes fall shut. "Fine. Led the way."

In about a minute, I felt myself walking across on the wooden surface of the dock. Once we reached stopped, I knew the edge was underneath my feet.

"Sam, I'm going to let go of your hand. Open your eyes as soon as I do," he instructed.

I nodded, feeling his hand slip out of mine. My eyelids fluttered opened, and I gasped at what I saw. Sitting in front of me was a row boat attached by a rope to one of the posts of the dock. It casually bounced up and down with the movement of the water.

"You got a boat for us?" I rasped out, as my eyes widened in shock.

"Actually, it's my uncle's. While you were in the shower this morning, I gave him a quick call and asked if I could borrow his boat. He agreed, so now we can use it for the evening. He just dropped it off, which is why I said we had to leave quickly. I also told my great-grandma, and she was nice enough to make dinner." He lifted up the picnic basket.

"You did all of this for me?" My stomach started to knot up at the thought.

"Yeah. I wanted you to have a nice time today, and this seemed like the best way to end it. Do you think it's too much?" He sounded a tad anxious.

"No. It's perfect, Brad. I couldn't have imagined anything better," I whispered, throwing my arms around his body in a tight embrace.

"Good, I'm glad." He pulled back, and held out his hand. "Ladies first."

Taking a hold of him to balance, I hopped into the boat. He followed suit and unlatched the rope from the post. Bringing out the wooden oars from the side of the boat, he stuck them into the water to begin rowing. The boat glided smoothly along the water as Brad kept moving the oars back and forth.

I sighed, feeling my heat jump around in my chest. Honestly, nothing could have topped this. It literally felt like a moment from a fairy tale.

"How are going to eat while you're rowing?" I inquired, motioning to the picnic basket.

"Simple. I'm not going to eat. I'm not that hungry anyway, since the park food filled me up. I had my great-grandma pack food for you because I knew you probably wouldn't get around to fixing yourself a meal when you got home. So, I asked her to make you dinner. If I'm up to eating later, I'll whip up something at home. No big deal."

"You really didn't have to do that. You already do enough for me. I mean, you made me dinner last night, let me spend the night, took me to the lake in the morning, went to park with, and now this. You do realize that you don't have all of this, right? I'd be just as happy if we stayed at your house and watched a movie."

"I know. But I _want_ you to go out and have fun, Sam. You should know that I _like_ doing stuff for you because if it makes you happy, then it's worth it."

Leaning forward, I pecked his cheek. "Thank you," I said softly.

"Anytime. Now go and eat." He jerked his head in the direction of the basket, while he continued to row.

I listened to his orders, reaching my hand into the basket. I pulled out all of the contents, which included a BLT sandwich (with a bit of ham added to it), home-made kettle cooked chips, a can of sparking grape juice, and a plate full of fudge. My stomach started to rumble, as my eyes drank in the sight of the food. Everything looked so amazing.

Without further hesitation, I hungrily took in my meal. As I savored the taste, all I could think about was how talented Brad's family was at cooking.

When I finished, I let out a satisfied sigh. "Thanks for dinner. Your great-grandma's food is fantastic. I can see where you get your culinary skills from."

"You're welcome. And agreed; she can turn anything into something edible. She's incredible that way."

"She is indeed."

"Sam, I think you should look up at the sky now. It'll take your breath away," he murmured, changing the topic.

Casting my gaze above me, I felt my breath catch in my throat. He was right; the sky was remarkable. The sun had just set, and now streaks of yellow, orange, and pink blazed around. Without a doubt, it was the most astonishing sunset I'd laid my eyes on.

"It's gorgeous," I replied, still staring at the sight.

"Having fun?" he asked quietly.

Shifting my attention back to Brad, I scooted closer to him. I let out a deep breath, preparing to answer his question with the absolute truth.

"This has been the best day I've ever had in my life."

* * *

Both Brad and I stood on my front porch, gazing at each other. Neither of us wanted the night to end, so we kept looking at one another without saying anything.

"Thank you again for everything," I said after awhile.

"Not a problem. Are you sure you're okay tonight? I can stay if you want me to." His voice held so much concern and sincerity, that my stomach started to flutter.

"I think I'll be fine. You can't spend every night with me, you know." I smiled, drawing nearer to hug him.

He hung on tightly, winding his arms securely around me. About a minute later, he released me. "Call me if you need anything. I'll have my phone on, just in case."

"Okay, will do. Goodnight, Brad. I'll see you later."

Before leaving, he pressed small kiss to my temple. "Sleep well, Sam." He then picked up the picnic basket that lay on the ground, and walked off.

I watched him go until he disappeared from my sight. Stumbling inside of the house, I made my way to my room. I stripped off the clothes I was wearing, mentally taking a note to wash them before returning them to Brad. Slipping on my pajamas, I quickly did my nightly routine of getting ready for bed.

Crawling into bed, I lay down and sighed. I didn't bother checking my phone, which sat on my nightstand beside my bed. I honestly felt too tired to even move right now. So, I closed my eyes and began drifting off.

But I couldn't help the thoughts that tumbled around in my head as I slept. There was no doubt that I was in trouble. Both my brain and my heart knew that each moment with Brad wasn't just for fun anymore. This was turning serious, and if I didn't stop myself, I would fall co completely head over heels for him.

Love was all game anyway, and sooner or later, everyone lost. It sucked that I had to find that out the hard way.

**_Review, please?_**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**_  
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_I know you guys hate reading a bunch of author's notes, but this one is important. I hope that my amazing readers understand why I did what I did in this chapter. Trust me, it was the most difficult to write out of all them so far. Please note that this a Brad/Sam story, so there will not be any Seddie in it. However, there is another couple in here, which might cause some drama with readers. Remember, I DO NOT ship the couple that you will later read about in the chapter. I literally debated weeks on whether I wanted to write about them or not, and ultimately, I chose to. It seemed to fit better with the way the story was going. Keep in mind that Sam is honestly moving on (if you haven't already noticed), and as hard as she might try to deny it, she really likes Brad. So, the outcome of everything will be good. There just has to be a rocky middle first. If you leave a review, please don't flame me. That's all I ask. _**  
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**Disclaimer:**_  
_

_Nope, I don't iCarly because it's Dan Schneider's property. If I did, there would be a million more seasons, which would mean that it wouldn't be ending in November. _**  
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* * *

_BZZZZ! BZZZZ!_

My eyes flashed open at the sound. Groaning, I reached over to the bed side table to grab my phone.

"Hello?" I answered groggily, sitting up.

"Sam! Where have you been? I texted and called you all yesterday. How come you didn't pick up?" the voice asked, worry laced in their tone.

"Good morning to you, too, Carly," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Oh, sorry. I woke you up, didn't I?"

"Yeah. But that's okay." I shifted my gaze over to the alarm clock, whose bright green numbers blinked the time. "It's already 11, so I might as well be up anyway."

"Okay. Still, I apologize. I know you're not a morning person," she laughed.

"Yup. So what's up?"

"I wanted to see how you were. Like I said, I tried to get a hold of you yesterday to see if you were coming over to hang out. I mean, you kind of freaked both Freddie and I out after your quick exit on Friday. Then, you didn't communicate with us. The bigger question is: what's up with you?"

"I was with…Brad. We spent the day together," I sighed, cringing a bit. I wasn't exactly keen on sharing that with Carly. She knew that Brad and I were close, but the reason behind it all would surely scare her if she were to find out.

"You were with Brad? Oh my God, why hasn't he been around lately? I miss him!" she practically screeched.

"Calm down, Carls. He's just really busy with school and stuff. The Academy keeps him on a tight leash," I lied smoothly.

I wasn't about to tell her the real reason why he chose not hang around Freddie and her. It wasn't like Brad hated them, but he didn't want to put himself in a situation where things could get awkward or tense. Given all of my Freddie drama recently, I wouldn't be surprised if Brad went ballistic on him. Despite the fact that I loved seeing people fight, that was a battle I did _not_ want to watch.

Luckily, she bought the excuse. "Oh. Well, you need to tell him to come and see us again. Both Freddie and I miss him a ton, and it'd be nice to have another friend around, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it. Anyway, I left my phone at home while I was with Brad, which is why I never got back to you. Sorry about that."

"It's not a big deal. As long as you're fine, then everything is alright. So do you have plans today?"

"No. The only thing I have to do today is finish my homework, which can be done later tonight because the load isn't that big."

"Sam Puckett is actually going to work on something school related? I'm impressed," she teased, with what I assumed was a smirk on her lips.

"Watch it, Shay," I said lightly, feeling my mouth curve into a smile.

"Okay, okay," she giggled. "Do you want to come to the Crownridge Mall with me? I've got to get some new clothes and makeup, and I'd like my best friend to help me pick things out."

"Sure. But don't you already have a mass of clothes?"

"Yes, but I need to get a new outfit for a special occasion." She sounded shy, which made me immediately curious.

"Carls, what's the outfit for?" I prodded.

"I'll tell you later. It's a surprise."

Grunting, I flopped back down on my bed. "You know I hate surprises."

"Of course I do. Look, it will be way easier if I tell you in person. Just trust me on this one."

"Fine. Only because you're my best friend, though."

"Well, thank you," she chuckled.

"What time are we leaving, and how much should I bring with me?"

"You can come over to the apartment in about an hour, and we can head over there. Wait. Since when do you have money?"

I shrugged. "I don't have a load of cash, but I've got some. I know it's hard to believe, but I do have family members who aren't sleeze balls. Some are decent, and send me money occasionally. One of my uncles makes a pretty nice living, in fact."

"Is his profession illegal?" she asked warily.

"No! My mom's side of the family is into all of that chizz. My dad's side is a little bit more normal, however. Dad's brother, Mark, works as a forensic scientist. His paychecks are quite appealing, or so he claims."

"It figures that you'd have a relative who dealt with dead bodies."

"Did you expect anything else?"

"Nope. So are you up for some shopping? Because if you are, then bring about $100 with you. We're going to be gone for awhile, so that amount should be good."

"I'm up for it. And okay. Is it just going to be us today?"

"Yes. Wendy and her aunt went to Tacoma to have a spa weekend, so she's gone. As for Freddie, he's planning on re-updating the site, and then catching a movie with Gibby at the Omniplex. I think they're seeing the new Galaxy Wars or something."

My stomach clenched at the mention of the boy's name. The way she had said it so softly this time seemed kind of odd, like she was caressing it. But I was probably imaging it, so I dropped the subject from my mind.

"Ah, so they're being nubs. Gotcha."

"Oh, Sam," she sighed. "Well, I'm gonna let you go then, so you can get ready. I'll see you in later."

"Alright, bye," I replied, pulling my phone away to end the call.

Tossing the device to the side, I glanced up at the ceiling. I had no idea what Carly wanted to tell me, but she sure was keeping it on the down low. Usually, she'd just blurt out whatever it was, but today was different. Deep in my gut, I knew that I wasn't going to like this news. I didn't have a clue as to why, but there was a nagging feeling that wouldn't go away.

"Eh, it can't be that bad," I reasoned with myself out loud. "It's not like she'd do anything behind my back, so I shouldn't worry."

Letting out a sigh, I sat up once more. As I got out of bed to shower, that feeling kept tightening in my body, making it difficult to even move. Taking a shaky breath, I ran my hand through my tousled curls. There was only one thing that could make me behave this way, but I knew it was impossible to consider. Carly wouldn't do that to me, right?

* * *

"Carly, that's the fifteenth dress you've tried on! They all look good on you, so I don't see why you have to continue running through them," I said, crossing my arms over my chest, as she stepped out of the dressing room in another gown.

"But, Sam! I have to find the _perfect_ dress, and I haven't seen it yet. If you're bored, come on and try on a few yourself. I saw an aqua one that would be great on you." She smiled, crinkling her eyes in the way that said, _Please For Me?_

"Ugh! I won't try on anything, but I will stop complaining. I've already got enough stuff." I gestured to my filled shopping bags from Glitter Gloss, Build A Bra, and Maurices. "Look, how about I go and get you some more dresses to sample? There were some cool ones near the front of the store."

"Alright," she sighed. "Don't take too long. I only have one more in here to put on, and I'm going to need some new choices."

I laughed, saluting to her. "I got it, Captain."

Spinning on my heel, I swiftly made my way towards a large rack of dresses sitting close to the shop window. When I reached it, my hand shot out to touch some of the material. A few sparkled in the light with sequins or gems. A couple were extremely soft in texture, and I assumed they were made of velvet or silk. However, a particular dress caught my eye. I took it off of the rack, bringing it close to my face.

It was a knee-length, strapless gown in ivory. The bodice had a turquoise silk belt around it, embedded with silver gems. The bottom flared out a bit, but it wasn't too poofy. It absolutely took my breath away.

Immediately, I knew this was the dress for Carly. She would undoubtedly dazzle in it. I could see her long brown hair strewn out in loose curls, while her brown eyes dancing with happiness. A soft smile would grace her lips. Whoever got to see her wearing it would drop dead because of her beauty.

Sighing, I started to walk back to the dressing room with it in my hands. My heart ached at the thought of her showing off her radiance once more, while I stood on the sidelines. When was I ever going to stop being second place? Even though she was my best friend, she still would never understand what it was like to be me. But I had to stop thinking so negatively. Today was supposed to be a good day, and if I kept having negative thoughts, then it would surely go downhill.

Once I got to her, she had yet another dress on. It looked amazing, but its loveliness couldn't match the one I had chosen. I hid it behind my back to surprise her, and cleared my throat to get her attention. She abruptly turned away from the mirror to fix her eyes on me.

"What do you think of this one?" she asked, twirling around in a forest green number that brought out the brown in her eyes.

I shrugged. "It's pretty. But I have something better for you." I whipped out the dress, flinging it in her open arms.

She gasped loudly. "Sam, this is gorgeous! Where did you find it?"

"Over there by the front." I jerked my thumb in the general direction. "I think it's your dress, Carls. Go try it on," I ordered, pushing her into the stall so she could change.

I sat back down on in a chair. A couple of minutes later, Carly came out. My breath caught in my throat at the sight. She was unbelievably beautiful in the gown. It flattered her thin frame, accentuating it so there were actual curves present. The ivory and turquoise made her chocolate brown hair and eyes appear rich and iridescent.

I couldn't help but feel the flare of jealousy rip through my body. My hands clenched the sides of the chair, as I exhaled slowly.

"Does it look as good on me as it did on the rack?" Carly said timidly, spinning around in a small circle.

"Carls, you look incredible. It's _the_ dress, I promise," I answered honestly.

She squealed and ran over to me. Throwing her arms around my shoulders, she pulled me in for a tight hug.

"Thank you so much, Sam! When I saw myself in the mirror, I _knew_ it was the perfect one. I'm totally getting it now."

She released her hold and stepped back. "I'm going to put on my regular clothes, okay? Then, we can go hit the food court."

"Yes! Now you're talking my language!" I laughed, feeling my mouth slip into a large grin.

"Same old Sam," she giggled before disappearing into the stall.

When she finished, she walked in the direction of the cash register with the dress draped over her left arm, while her right held onto the things she had bought earlier. I followed behind with my shopping bags in hand.

"Do you have enough for that, Carly? I have an extra $20, if you need it."

She waved her hand. "No, it's okay. I have enough because Granddad just sent some cash. No worries. Keep your money for something else. I'll buy you lunch, too." She smiled, linking her arm with mine.

"Aw, thanks!"

"You're welcome."

Once she paid for her dress (which cost her $300—ouch!), we headed towards my version of heaven (the food court!). I quickly ordered a double ham sandwich from the deli, while Carly grabbed some sushi from the Japanese stand. We sat down at one of the tables, shopping bags surrounding our feet.

I began to feast on my food, in hopes of appearing normal for my best friend. Like I said earlier, if I was around Carly or anyone else who wasn't Gibby, Wendy, or Brad, I acted totally fine. I ate regularly, cleaned myself, and engaged in conversation. I acted like the ordinary Sam Puckett. Of course, it was all far from the truth.

Honestly, I wasn't very hungry. It was a shocker, but there wasn't much appetite in me anymore. The only time where I could eat normally was when I was around Brad. Somehow, he was able to make food seem appealing to me again. It was one these reasons why he would never cease to amaze me with the things he could do.

I watched as Carly ate her meal bit by bit, almost as if she was hesitating. Rather than looking at me, she focused her gaze downwards. Raising an eyebrow, I cleared my throat, trying to get her attention.

"Is there a reason why you're picking at your sushi? Usually, you go crazy over that stuff," I said, motioning my hand towards her plate.

"I'm not that hungry, Sam," she replied, tilting her head up so her eyes met mine.

From the way she was staring at me, I could tell that she was nervous. Her brown orbs contained a worried look, while her leg bounced up and down underneath the table. Also, her right hand shook just a little, as she popped another piece of sushi in her mouth.

"Don't lie to me, Carls. I know something's up. You've hardly touched your food, and you look scared. Can you tell me what's wrong?" I moved my hand to gently nudge hers.

She set her chop sticks down, and blew out an unsteady breath. "We're best friends, right?"

I frowned, feeling confused. "Yeah, of course. Where are going with this?"

"And we can tell each other anything, right?"

"Yes! Cut to the chase, Carly. What's got you all twisted up?"

It took her awhile to be able to form words. I waited silently for her to say something, while I polished off my sandwich and Peppy Cola.

She pushed her plate away to signal that she had completed her lunch. Then, she squeaked out in a voice so low that I could barely catch it, "I'm going on a date."

"You're what?" I asked, cupping my hand around my ear to encourage her to speak up.

"I'm going on a date tonight," she announced in a louder voice.

"Carly! That's great! Why didn't you tell me before?" I beamed at her, giving a genuine smile.

"Well, I didn't know how you'd react to it. I've liked him for quite some time, and he and I are actually going public now." She grinned back shyly.

"Wait, how long have you been seeing this guy?"

"A couple of weeks. But that's it." She shrugged nonchalantly, oblivious to the fact that I was basically squirming in my seat.

"CARLY! You've been with him for two weeks, and now you're telling me! I thought we were best friends," I scoffed, folding my arms across my chest.

"Aw, please don't be mad at me. I wanted to tell you sooner, but it seems like we've had other things going on. Today's been the first time we've really spent together since he and I started our relationship."

I sighed. "Look, I'm not mad. I'm just a little disappointed you didn't tell me earlier. I mean, how come you didn't tell me during one of our iCarly rehearsals, or when we have our sleepovers? There have been a ton of opportunities."

"I know. I've also been nervous to tell you because it's kind of hard for me to talk about. There really hasn't been a guy I've seriously liked since Kyle. And he turned out to be royal jerk, since he only cared about intelligence. The guy I'm seeing is so different than any other guys I've met before. Truthfully, I don't think I could have found anyone more perfect," she said softly, as her face melted into a dreamy expression.

"Wow. I'm happy for you, Carls. So…who is this lucky fellow?" I winked at her, trying to stifle a giggle.

"You'll find out tonight. He's taking me out to dinner first, and then we're going somewhere secret. He won't tell me the second location because it's a surprise." She rolled her brown eyes, curling her lips into a faint smile.

"So that's why we took a trip to the mall. You want to look good for your man," I teased.

"Right," she laughed and reached for her cell phone to glance at the time. "Shoot! We better get going. I need to start getting ready, and you can come over and help me."

I groaned. "But you take _forever _to prepare for anything! I'll be sitting around for, like, six hours! I know we're best friends, but do I really have to put myself through that?"

"Sam, please? I want to get your opinion on what I should do with my hair and makeup. Normally, I'd be fine, but I'm anxious about this. Please for me?" She pouted, giving me her puppy dog look.

Face-palming, I moaned in agreement. "Fine. I still don't see why you need me, though. You're perfectly capable of handling everything on your own."

Truth be told, I wasn't really in the mood to see Carly dress up for her date. It would just bring out more of the green-eyed monster, which I didn't want her to notice. Plus, I kind of wanted to go for walk, and grab a smoothie with Wendy and Gibby.

"But you're my best friend. Best friends help each other out with that kind of thing. Look, I just need assistance on how I should style my hair and makeup. I can handle everything else on my own."

"Alright, alright. I'll go," I laughed, rising from my seat to dump our trash in the trash can nearby.

"Yay! You're the best," she said, leaping from her seat to tackle me in a hug.

"And don't you forget it, Shay." I smiled, picking up my shopping bags.

Together, we walked towards Carly's car. As I slid in, that stupid feeling of dread filled my stomach. Something told me that this date had a horrible twist to it. Leaning back against the seat, I closed my eyes. I let out a sigh, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I was wrong.

* * *

As soon as we entered the apartment, Carly dashed off to go shower. To pass the time, I chose to go hang out in the studio. I climbed the stair, but when I got the door, my hand froze on the knob. A tall figure stood inside with his back was to me, typing furiously on his laptop.

Suddenly, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I hadn't seen him since the nightmare, and now there he was, standing a few feet away from me. Images from two nights ago flashed through my mind, and my grip tightened on the knob. My legs began to wobble, while my head spun.

But I knew I couldn't stay there forever. Shaking my head, I muttered under my breath, "Stop being ridiculous, Sam. You deal with him practically every day. A dumb nightmare shouldn't change anything."

Once I managed to calm myself down, I turned the doorknob and stepped through the threshold. At the sound, Freddie turned around.

"Hey, Sam," he said, waving.

"Freddie," I answered curtly, nodding. I tried to ignore the loud pounding in my chest, but it was no use. He could probably even hear it, since it was so noisy.

"So what are you up to?" he asked, using one his hands to close the computer.

He gently leaned against the cart, crossing his arms. His lips curved into his signature smirk, which made me internally sigh. Even though we weren't together anymore, everything he did still got to me.

I shrugged, positioning my body so it lay against the wall. I had to be careful not to get too close to him, or else I'd regret it terribly. He was no longer mine, so I couldn't just fling myself in his arms. All I could do was stay a safe distance away, and hope for a tiny bit of contact.

"I just got back from shopping with Carly. She spent a fortune to get the "perfect outfit" for tonight. At any rate, she's getting ready for her big date. I came along because apparently she needed help." I rolled my eyes, smiling slightly.

"Ah, I see," he chuckled. "That girl does like to shop. Did she say anything about the date?" He sounded curious, which made me raise an eyebrow.

"Carly said that she's really excited, but she didn't tell me about the guy. The only thing she said was that she's been seeing him for a couple of weeks. I mean, I'm happy for the kid, you know? She hasn't seriously liked since Kyle, and she deserves a good guy. It's great that she's found him."

A shy grin spread across Freddie's mouth. "Yeah, I'm glad that she found him, too."

"Wait, you're not jealous of him?" I blurted out unconsciously. I mean, if he was head over heels for the girl, why would be glad that she met a new boy?

He laughed, uncrossing his arms to run a hand through his thick brown hair. "Nope. Why would I be?"

Looking away, I shook my head. "Oh, no reason. I was only wondering."

An uncomfortable silence stretched between us, as I continued to stare off into space, while he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. After what seemed like ten minutes of awkwardly not saying anything, Freddie cleared his throat.

"So how've you been, Sam? You left pretty quickly on Friday after the show. Is everything alright?"

His eyes were guarded, while he took one step closer to me. My palms began to sweat, while my heartbeat thundered in my ears. Pressing myself farther into the wall, I tried to appear nonchalant. However, I was sure I looked pretty freaked out.

"I'm okay. And everything's fine. Jeez, Freddork. You know, I am allowed to spend my time doing other things with other people," I said lightly, reaching out to gently punch his arm.

I felt a shock at the contact, but if I didn't act semi normal, he would suspect something. Teasing him was the only way I could pretend to be myself.

Rolling his eyes, he snorted. "Glad to see that you're acting like the usual Sam Puckett. Anyway, whose presence have you been gracing lately?"

"It's none of your nubby business," I snapped involuntarily.

"Oh, c'mon. You can tell me." He flashed that crooked smile of his, which got me to do anything he wanted when we dated.

Growling, I spat out, "If you_ must_ know, I usually spend time with Brad. Either him, or Wendy and Gibby. I may hang around you and Carly a ton, but I do have other friends."

"Okay, okay." He held his hands in defense. "Don't need to get touchy. I saw Gibby today because we went to a movie, but how's Brad? I miss having him be a part of iCarly."

Sincerity rang in his voice, which made me sick. If only he actually meant half the things he said.

"He's good. Apparently, school keeps him busy, which is why he hasn't kept in contact." Again, I had to lie. And to think that I was getting better at this.

"Yet he has the time to spend with you?" He furrowed his eyebrows in puzzlement.

"Yeah. I can't help that I'm awesome." I fake grinned, as I gestured to myself.

"Okay, whatever," he responded with heavy sarcasm.

Suddenly, a piercing shrill cry sounded. "SAM! I need you now!"

"Well, I guess that's my cue to leave. See you later, Freddnub."

I spun around to grab the door handle, but before I could, Freddie took a hold of my arm.

"Hey, are you sure you're alright?" he asked softly.

I wretched myself from his grip, feeling my body tremble. _ No_, I thought. _How can I be alright with you standing near me, pretending to be nice, when you're just a monster who fakes every emotion in the book, except for your love for Carly? _

Of course, I couldn't honestly say those things. So I settled for, "Yes. You can stop worrying, nub."

"I just wanted to make sure. At any rate, I have to get moving, too. I've got plans tonight." A huge grin lit up his face, and he winked.

"Nice. Have fun with that," I said.

I dashed out of there as soon as I could, not bothering look back at him. That awful, stomach-clenching feeling returned with a full force. What the hell was going on?

* * *

Several hours later, a beautifully dressed Carly stood in front of me. Her hair was freshly curled, her eye lids sparkled with a pale sandy gold color, her cheeks were dusted with a pale pink blush, and her lips gleamed with a peach lip gloss. Her gown clung to her body, causing her to look like a supermodel. Undoubtedly, she was drop dead gorgeous.

"How do I look?" she asked quietly, wringing her hands behind her back.

"Carls, you're amazing. Any guy would drool a river if they saw you right now."

I had to stop the bile from coming up my throat at the sight. More than anything, I wished I didn't have to see her stunning appearance. I hoped my eyes didn't blaze red from the jealousy that shot straight through me. I had to sit on my hands, so I didn't reach out and rip the dress off of her, along with her white rhinestone heels.

"Really? You mean that?"

"Completely."

"Thanks so much, Sam. You know I love you." She smiled, coming over to hug me once more.

"I do know that. And I love you, too," I responded automatically, stretching my lips into a faux grin.

She released her hold on me to glance at the clock on the desk. "Oh! He's going to be here any minute. Come down stairs with me. I want you to see him!"

Carly snatched my arm and began dragging me down the stairs. I didn't have time to complain before I got to the bottom. Still hanging to me, she pushed me towards the couch. We simultaneously sat down, while I caught my breath.

"Jeez! You sure are excited!" I rasped out.

"Sorry," she murmured sheepishly. "I've been waiting for this for awhile, so that's why I'm all jumpy. We haven't had any real dates before. I see him a lot, but today we wanted to make it official and go out together."

"Oh, I get it. By the way, what did you mean by me seeing him? Don't you want me to meet him?"

She giggled uneasily. "Um, well. You've already met him."

"What? Who is he—"

A sharp knock interrupted me. Tilting my head to the side, I waved my hand at the door. "Don't you want to get that?"

"Actually, could you answer it? I'll wait here."

"Um, okay?" I was pretty confused, but followed my orders.

Springing up in my seat, I sauntered towards the door. I flung it open, revealing an extremely well-dressed person. My jaw basically hit the floor at the sight. But the most shocking part was the person staring back at me.

Freddie Benson stood in black dress pants, a dark gray button down, and shiny black shoes. His hair was in its regular spiked style, but it definitely had gone through a nice washing and cleaning.

He looked so unbelievable at the moment, that I couldn't utter a word out. I was way too speechless to even move. I remained motionless in my spot, gaping at the boy in front of me.

"Sam? Earth to, Sam!" Freddie said, waving his hand in front of my face.

Shaking my head, I tried to snap back to the present. "What are you doing here? Carly's date should be arriving soon, and you're blocking the entrance."

Suddenly, he cast his gaze downwards. In a voice so muffled that I felt like I needed the aid of a frequency monitor to hear him, he mumbled, "I'm Carly's date."

"What?" I gasped, stumbling backwards like I had been slapped.

He lifted his head up to meet my eyes. "I'm Carly's date," he repeated a bit louder.

"What?" I had to grip onto the door to make sure I didn't fall over. My knees started to feel incredibly weak.

"Sam, I'm the guy that Carly's been talking about. I'm her new boyfriend." He gave me a sympathetic smile, taking a step into the apartment.

Everything became disorienting in a matter of seconds. Nothing seemed to makes sense anymore. Fumbling my way back to the couch, I plopped down. I uttered the only word I could from at the moment, "What?"

A hand touched my shoulder. Turning my head, I found Carly watching me. "Sam, please let us explain."

"O-kay. G-go a-a-head," I stammered.

Freddie moved to come and sit next to me, causing me to be squished between the two of them. More than anything, I wanted to escape. This all seemed too surreal to be true.

"Do you want the whole story?" Freddie wondered.

I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything coherent.

Carly took a deep breath and started. "About two weeks ago, we finished up another iCarly rehearsal. Freddie and I had thought that a trip to the Groovy Smoothie sounded nice, but you told us you had other plans. We assumed you were with Brad at the time because of how close you guys have gotten in the past few months. Anyway, we were kind of bored, so we decided to just stay here and watch stupid Splashface videos. We stumbled across a couple that were interesting, and one caught our attention in particular." She paused, and motioned for Freddie to continue.

"This specific video was of us together, showing a bunch of random clips. It was obviously made by a Creddie shipper because there was so much speculation behind it. The music timed with the clips was 'Could It Be' by Christy Carlson Romano. Normally, we would just shut it off, but this one was very well done. We kept watching it, and by the time it finished, we turned to each other. I asked Carly if it was possible for her and I to be together, even though we broke up." He pointed to him and me.

Carly chose to jump back into the conversation. "And I said that it wasn't possible because I wouldn't do that to you, Sam. I know how much you liked Freddie when you dated him. You're my best friend, and I couldn't hurt you anymore than you already were by the break up. So I said no. But Freddie kept saying that it wouldn't bother you because you had already moved on. He brought up the whole Brad issue, which made sense. I mean, you guys are practically together because you're with him all of the time. After listening to him, I relented a bit. Then, he kissed me out of nowhere. I was too shocked to return it, but eventually, I did. Once we stopped, he told me what you asked him at the restaurant. The whole crush thing, that is. He was scared to answer before, but he knew deep in his heart that it wasn't a crush. He genuinely liked me again." She shifted her attention to him, and her expression instantly softened.

He took that as his sign to finish. "So we admitted our feelings to each other out loud, and became boyfriend and girlfriend. We wanted to keep it a secret until tonight because we had to make sure you'd be all right with this. The more time you had to get used to the break up, the easier it would be for us to tell you. And now that your relationship with Brad is fairly stable, it takes the pressure off, you know? At any rate, we hope you understand. We seriously didn't mean to hurt you in any way, Sam. We just couldn't help but have these feelings for one another." His eyes flickered to Carly, giving her an equally soft look.

Once he was done talking, I felt myself stand up. Wandering over to the kitchen area, I began to pace back and forth. The motion of walking calmed me a little, but my head and body still felt like it was on fire. I finally stopped, and clutched the counter with my hands.

"You guys are really dating?" I asked in a hushed tone.

Carly nodded, and made her way over to me. Freddie hung back, with his hands in pockets, rocking back on forth on his heels.

When she got to me, she said, "Yes, we are. We're so sorry we didn't tell you sooner. We figured that waiting was better than jumping the gun."

I sighed heavily, letting a sad smile grace my lips. "I honestly don't know what to say."

Actually, I did. It was somewhere along the lines of: _How could you fucking do this to me?_ _I thought we were best friends! You knew that I never got over him, yet you go ahead and sink your claws into him. How could you?_

Stretching her arms over the counter, she took a hold of my hands in hers. "Sam, please understand. We really didn't mean to hurt you. Hopefully, you can see that this wasn't planned. We swear that we _never_ thought we'd end up together. It just kind of happened."

I removed my hands of hers, but kept eye contact. With the way I had been acting lately, a pool of tears would have leaked from my eyes by now. But all I felt was hollowness in me. It seemed as if my heart had been completely scooped out of my chest, and that I was only alive by some miracle.

"You really like him," I whispered to her.

"Yes. With all of my heart."

"Well, I can't argue with it then, if you honestly feel that way. Just take care of him, Carls. Please?"

I literally wanted to stab myself for saying that. Why wasn't I preventing her from doing this?

She gazed at me with the most earnest, truthful look I had ever received from her. "Sam, I promise you that I will. No matter what happens with us in the future, I promise that he will be good in hands. Does this mean that you're okay with everything?"

I decided to speak up, so that both of them could hear me. "Yeah. If you two honestly like each other, then don't think I'm going to stand in your way. I'm fine, really," I lied through my teeth, giving them a complete and utter fake smile.

That was enough for Carly and Freddie to run up to me, and wrapping me in a bone crushing bear-hug. I hugged them back loosely, trying to avoid contact. A few seconds later, I let go.

"You guys should get going on your date. I have a feeling that it's going to be the best first date ever," I said with forced enthusiasm.

"Okay," they answered in unison.

My head felt like exploding, knowing that I would never be able to be in sync with Freddie again. He and Carly would now finish each other's sentences and say things together, instead of him and me.

"Hey, I'm going to get the car. Meet me outside?" Freddie directed his question towards Carly.

"Sure. I'll see you out there." She leaned in to peck his cheek.

I internally grimaced, feeling my whole body practically shut down. I struggled to even think straight right now. Everything was basically on auto-pilot.

He began walking to the door, but before he officially left, he spun around to say, "Bye, Sam! I'll talk to you later."

When he vanished from sight, Carly changed her focus, so it was back on me. "Sam, tell me the truth. Are you all right with this? I know you can get away with feeding him a lie, but I'm not going to accept it." Her voice became a tad harsh, tinged slightly with urgency.

"Carly," I barked in response. "I'm not lying. I really am fine with the two of you going out. It doesn't bother me in the least. It's been months since he and I broke up. There are no hard feelings between us, whatsoever. Please believe me. If you are happy with him, then I say go for it. You deserve a nice boyfriend."

Of course, it was all bull shit coming out of my mouth. I didn't mean any of it, except for the fact that she deserved a nice boyfriend. She did, but I just wished it wasn't my ex. Out of all the rest of the guys in the world, she had to choose him?

At my words, she let out a humorless laugh. "It's hard to imagine that I gave you the same advice first, isn't it? At the lock-in?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it is. Anyway, do you get what I'm saying?"

"I think so. You're saying that you're cool with Freddie and me as a couple then, correct?"

"Yup. Now, go! You're going to be late for your date, if you don't hurry up. And you can't keep him waiting, even if he is a nub," I joked, rolling my eyes.

"Thank you for understanding, Sam. You're the best friend a person can ever have!"

"Don't you forget it, Shay. Oh, and one more thing."

"What is it?"

"Brad and I have nothing going on. I know you and Freddie keep thinking that we do, but we don't. We're only friends."

A loud laugh escaped her mouth. "When are you going to see it? You are totally in love with that boy. I mean, you spend more time with him than with me these days! He makes you happy, and I can obviously see that. Trust me, a best friend knows about this stuff. I can imagine that you make him feel pretty out of this world, too. Look, this time you need to make a move. He's not going to stick around forever, you know. There's so much chemistry between you guys that you need to take advantage of it. Face it, Sam. You've moved on and fallen for Bradley Haverford."

My blood boiled underneath my skin when she completed her speech. She was dead wrong. There was no way in hell that I had fallen for him.

"You're wrong. He and I are nothing more than good friends, and nothing less than good friends." I tried to keep my voice light, but there was a hard edge to it.

Still, she couldn't pick up on my distress. "Alright, fine. Go ahead and keep denying it, but I've got to get going. Are you going follow me out, or you going to stay here?"

"I'm gonna head out, too. But you go first. Have fun tonight, Carls," I said, forcing another smile.

"Thanks, I will. I'll call you later, okay? And pick up this time!"

Chuckling, I agreed. By the time, Carly left the apartment, I already had my phone out. Dialing the number I knew by heart, I heard it ring a couple of times before someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Brad? It's Sam," I answered, opening the door to step out. I closed it behind me, and picked up the emergency key underneath the doormat to lock it.

"Oh, hey there. What's up?" he asked casually.

I started to walk towards the elevator, but then changed direction. No way was I ever taking that machine again. Choosing the stairs instead, my feet took the descent down to the first floor.

"Are you free? Because if you are, can I come over?"

"Yeah, you can. I don't have much going on at the moment. Just working on some homework, but that's all. Is something wrong?" Concern instantly laced his tone.

"There is, as a matter of fact. I'll explain it when I get there." I reached the lobby and pushed open the heavy front door, ignoring Lewbert's evil screams of protest.

"Okay. I'm here, Sam. So you can stop by whenever."

"I'll be at your place in a few minutes. Thanks, Brad."

"Any time. You know that. I'll see you later then."

As soon as we hung up, I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I needed to see him, and make this pain go away. He was the only one that could fully do it. But as I continued along the path to his house, Carly's words echoed in my mind.

_Face it, Sam. You've moved on and fallen for Bradley Haverford._

_**Review, please? And no flames, if you will. **  
_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**

_Hey, guys. No, I'm not actually dead haha. It just seems like it because it's taken me **forever** to update this story. I really am sorry for the wait. The truth is, I lost interest for a long time. I didn't know where to go with it and it's only recently that I've gotten back into it. It will be finished, but it will just take a while. _

_This isn't my best chapter at all. I'm not happy with it, but I wanted to post at least something. It's more of a filler than anything else. The next chapter will be much longer, better, and filled with drama.  
_

**Disclaimer:**_  
_

_I'll make it simple: I don't own iCarly. _

* * *

When I arrived at his house, the door was already open with Brad leaning against the frame. His lips curved into a frown as he took in the sight of me. He held his hand out wordlessly, and I placed mine in his. Together, we made our way inside. He quickly kicked the door shut behind us, locking it with a click.

"Where do you want to talk?" he asked quietly, stopping before we got to the living room.

"The kitchen is fine," I replied, tugging on his hand to continue moving.

As soon as I was close enough to one of the bar stools at the island, I collapsed. My knees felt weak and my whole body trembled. I took shallow breaths, hunching my shoulders forward, while I rested my arms on my thighs.

"Do you need some time to think about it before you tell me?"

I nodded, breathing a silent sigh of relief. I honestly had no idea how he was able to read me so well. By simply look at me, he could figure out exactly what I was thinking.

"I'll go get you a glass of water and something to eat. You look like you could use a little pick-me-up."

While he was rummaging around the kitchen to prepare food for me, I stared off into space, pondering my thoughts. More than anything, I wanted to lie down, close my eyes, and pretend like today hadn't happened. How in the world was I going to explain this to Brad without completely flipping out?

Suddenly, a tall glass of ice water and plate full of freshly fried bacon appeared in front of me. My mouth couldn't help but water as my eyes scanned over the food. Had I zoned out that much that I missed him cook up one of my favorite meals?

He dropped into the seat next to me. "Please eat, Sam."

I nodded, reaching for a strip of the meat. Chewing slowly, I tried to savor the taste, but it was no use. The flavor was bitter on my tongue, and after a few bites, I reluctantly pushed the plate away.

"Carly and Freddie are together," I said flatly, without any emotion in my voice.

"What?" A look of confusion and surprise flitted across Brad's face.

"You heard me. Carly and Freddie are together," I repeated, gritting my teeth.

"No, that's not possible. They can't be together. How do you even know about this?" His eyes were guarded, displaying the fact that he didn't believe me.

"I'm not lying, Brad. I'll tell you exactly what happened, okay?"

He bobbed his head in agreement, hopping off of the stool to grab onto my hand. "C'mon. Let's go to my room. You look exhausted, so a bed might do you some good while you explain things."

I followed him silently up the stairs and to his room. Once we reached our destination, I flopped down on the comfortable bed, on top of the covers. Brad got in on the other side, settling in beside me. He leaned against the headboard, with his right arm wrapped around my body, pulling me closer to him.

"So much better," I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder.

"Good. Now tell me what happened," he murmured.

I gave him a play-by-play of today's events. It was hard to keep my voice from shaking during the time that I talked. Every few minutes I had to stop in order to breathe normally. When I finished, I lifted my head to gaze at Brad. He had been quiet through the whole thing, which made me a bit concerned.

He stared back at me with the wildest look I had ever seen in his green eyes. He almost looked like he wanted to…kill someone. His whole jaw was tense, as he took a slow, unsteady breath.

"How could they?" he spat out in a dangerously low voice.

"I don't know. I can't say I really blame them, though. I saw it coming."

"How?" His jaw remained rigid, but his eyes shifted back into focus.

I shrugged. "You didn't know Freddie when he was young. He chased after Carly for most of his life, and then one day, he didn't. I always thought it was weird how he dropped her like that. I figured maybe he just got tired of being rejected. Of course, it was all an act. The boy didn't stop chasing. He got sneakier in his ways of pursuing her. And using me to get to her became his way."

There was a small pause before Brad sighed, dropping his shoulders from their uptight state. "Sam, I don't know what to say. I mean, I actually do. I could say that I want to rip out Freddie's throat at the moment. But I'm not going to do that because it would upset you. Anyway, I guess I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do to make this better. How do I fix this?"

Shaking my head, I frowned. "You can't fix this. Some things can't be fixed, and this is one of them. It honestly hurts like hell, but there's nothing I can do about it. They've decided to date, despite everything that went on between Freddie and me. It is what it is."

"But it's not right! Don't they know the pain they're putting you through?" He sounded strained, while threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

"No. They think I'm okay with this. I told them it wasn't a big deal because what else am I supposed to say? _Don't date each other because if you do, it will shatter my heart? _Yeah, right. Like that's going to work," I scoffed.

"It might have," he answered quietly.

I shook my head again. "It wouldn't have. You didn't see their faces. They are totally in love. Freddie never looked at me the way that he was staring at Carly tonight. He never talked to me in the soft manner that he talked to her. It's just different with them. He desperately adores her, and she feels the same way. I think she always has."

"How? I thought she was supportive of your entire relationship with Freddie? Is she that much of a two-faced person?"

Sighing, I wound my arms around my knees, glancing away from his face. "No, she's not. Carly is really complicated, that's all."

"Mind explaining that one to me? She doesn't seem too complex to me. The girl likes shopping, doing her nails, performing for iCarly, and being a goody-two-shoes."

"She's an actress, Brad. She hides everything behind closed doors. Just because she appears to be one way, doesn't mean she's like that day in and day out. She's not two-faced. She's a human being, who makes mistakes. Everyone thinks she's Miss Perfect, but she's not."

Brad seemed like he was lost from my explanation, so I pressed on with my argument.

"Carly has always liked Freddie. She pretended to be all right with my relationship with him because she was obligated to. That didn't stop her from secretly wishing that it was her instead. When they dated, everything was great for them. They didn't get into fights, they both smiled all of the time, and they genuinely were happy. When Freddie broke up with Carly, she was upset for days because her "prince charming" left her. She actually got pissed at since she thought it was my fault. There were a couple days of silence between us, which wasn't pretty. She finally snapped out of it, but she never forgave me for that. Still, there have always been tiny moments they've shared since then. Lingering looks, hands brushing, the works. And when Freddie and I broke up, she seemed sad at first, but then she was completely fine with it. Content even. It was predictable that they'd get back together."

He gazed at me with a blank expression on his face for quite some time. Reaching out, he brushed a piece of hair away from my face. He rested his hand on my knee, raising one of his eye brows questioningly.

"Are you telling me you saw this coming from the very beginning?"

I nodded, as my lips twitched into a sad smile. "Yeah. This is what happens when you come in second in everything. Carly will always be first."

The next thing he did surprised me. He took a hold of my face between both of his hands. His warm breath blew in my face as he scrutinized me.

"You are _not_ second best to Carly, do you understand? Please don't think like that. She could never measure up to half of what you are. She may be beautiful and perfect to some guys, but that doesn't mean she's real. You're real, Sam. You've got cuts and bruises, you've got issues, and you have one hundred times more heart than she does. Don't ever compare yourself to her because she has nothing on you. She's not first at all; you are. And Freddie is a bastard for not realizing or understanding this."

With each word he said, he inched closer to me. Now there was only a centimeter between our lips, and as I looked into his mesmerizing green eyes, I wanted desperately to kiss him. How could I not after what he just said? But…I couldn't. I couldn't fall. Not now, not ever again.

"Brad," I sighed, removing his hands from my face. I scooted back, so there was some distance between us.

"What is it?"

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"For?"

"Being amazing."

He chuckled. "What did I do?"

"You said all of those incredible things. How can you be so nice to me?"

I was curious, after all. How was he able to do it? No one, and I mean no one, had ever said something so heartwarming to me before.

"Because you're my Sammy," he answered simply.

My heart fluttered at his statement. "I'm _your_ Sammy?" I teased.

"Yes. I'm sorry, but no one else can have you. You're mine," he growled playfully, tackling me in a bear hug. He then proceeded to use his nimble fingers to tickle the life out of me.

I gasped for breath, trying to wiggle out of grip. "Let me go!" I begged, laughing loudly. "I'm serious, Brad!"

"Not a chance. You're finally smiling."

He continued to tickle me, causing me to lose all of my strength to make him stop. He didn't quit until a couple of minutes later, when he saw how worn out I was from attempting to fight him off.

"I think you needed that," he pointed out, wrapping his arms around my body from behind.

"I did. Thank you."

"Anytime. But you already know that."

Suddenly, it dawned on me what time it was. Shifting my attention to Brad's alarm clock on his night stand, I saw the red numbers glow 7:00. Scrunching up my face, I knew I had to get home to finish my homework before school tomorrow.

"I think I have to get going. I still have homework to get done. Plus, I'd like to get some sleep, so I can actually stay awake in my classes," I joked.

"Do you really have to leave?" He sounded like he was pouting, which made me giggle.

"Yes. Sorry, but school work awaits me. Thanks for letting me vent, though. I appreciate it." I gently got out of Brad's embrace, standing up from his bed. I leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Are you sure you're going to be all right tonight? Do you need me to stay with you?"

"I'll be okay. It's a school night, and the last time I checked, you have class tomorrow, too. Don't you think you should stay here and get ready for that instead?"

He waved his hand dismissively. "I can always get up early and dash here before I go to the Academy."

"Brad, I'll be fine. Relax. I'm just going to go home, do homework, and head to bed. There's nothing too difficult or challenging about it. If I have a problem, I'll call you, all right?"

He nodded, smiling slightly. "If you're sure you'll be good, then I'll take your word for it. I'm only a phone call away, you know."

"I know. Jeez, you seem more freaked out than I am."

Chuckling, he agreed. "You're actually taking this better than I thought. Originally when you told me, I assumed you'd either be throwing stuff around the room, or crying. You're doing neither of those things. I know it's a sore spot for you, but you're not…" he trailed off.

"I'm not flipping out, I know. Sure, it fucking hurts, but I knew it was going to happen. I guess the best thing for me to do is to suck it up. I've kept everything inside this long, so it won't kill me to keep holding it in." I shrugged, making my way out of his room.

He trailed behind me, saying nothing. We both descended the stairs to the front door and once I got to it, I pulled it open, letting the cool, outside breeze envelop me.

"Let me know if you need anything, Sam. Don't hesitate to call or video chat me. I'll be here," he whispered.

Instead of answering him, I wrapped him in a tight hug, burying my face in his chest. No words past between us as we stood there, locked in one another's arms. Nothing needed to be said because sometimes words weren't enough.

I pulled back after a minute, giving him a smile that said, _Thank you for everything_. He returned my smile with one of his own which said, _You're more than welcome. I'll talk to you later._ We both waved at the same time, signaling our soundless goodbyes.

Stepping out of the doorway, I glanced at him once more before taking off. I walked quickly along the familiar path, hoping to get home soon because the wind had picked up, violently tossing my hair around and nipping at my thin jacket.

However, on the trip there, I couldn't help but wonder about what Brad had said. I was his? What did that mean? He had claimed that I was his and that no one else could be. Was he implying that he liked me, or maybe even loved me?

_No,_ I thought. _He doesn't have feelings for me. I'm imagining things. Brad is an extremely nice guy, so of course he would treat me like a princess. He would do it for anyone. That's just him. Seriously, I have nothing to worry about. I know I'm not in love with him, so it's ridiculous to think he'd look at me like that._

Still, the way Brad had announced the word, "mine" sent shivers down my spine. The good kind of shivers. It was like he was protecting me, so no one could get past him to harm me.

If only things had worked out differently. In another world, I would have been perfectly happy with Brad. But that world was destroyed when I fell for Freddie Benson. He fought his way into my heart, only to break and bruise it in the end. Had I chosen Brad from the beginning, this whole experience could have been avoided.

I had been foolish, selfish. I had thought I knew what love was. Those images from TV and movies gave me ideas about what love should have looked like. What I hadn't realized was love _hurt_. It broke me down into nothing. It made me fall for someone who didn't catch me. And it reared its ugly head by showing me that it could happen with the right people: Freddie and Carly.

Speaking of the adorable couple, I had to deal with them all day tomorrow. Inwardly groaning, I walked faster. The sooner I got home, the sooner I could get everything else done, so I could go to bed. I would need all the sleep I could get to endure the hellish day up ahead. It was probably going to be the worst Monday in the history of Mondays because I had to see my best friend walk in with my ex-boyfriend.

_Looks like you're second again, Puckett. Always second and never first._

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**A/N:**

_Is Sam really in second place? That's up for you to decide. Perhaps in a review you can let me know...? :) _**  
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